two weeks tomorrow

So...they are taking the nice recliner out of our hospital room. A patient is arriving in the room that the recliner goes.....so, off goes our third person sleeping place. We have a nice lovely uncomfortable rocker to get us through the night now...it will not not not be easy to sleep in! it does not recline! being spoiled was nice for 2 nights. ok, 1. the first night doesn't count b/c we didn't sleep well the first night.

so, here's what's going on. Ridge has been having some dark dirty diapers again, but it seems like they are turning back around. We attribute the darkness of the diapers to a couple things...1, Ridge couldn't eat for a while today....that is possibly a coincidental factor, but last time he couldn't eat, the same thing happened. 2, somewhere between the drs orders and the pharmacy and the nurses, the wrong amt of his medicine was given. This is a big deal b/c it is a continuous drip. And it is what controls the bleeding. So all night, he received almost zero meds....I know some of you might be open jawed right now wondering how they could mess up his meds...i want to feel that way, but i just can't...there's no way i could've changed it. I even had the nurses double check it and have the resident doctor double check it. They all thought it was right. At least it was too little instead of too much, I guess? What's done is done. They fixed it, and they admitted they messed up- they just wouldn't say "who" messed up.

Today was a good day though. I tickled Ridge this morning, and he giggled/chuckled/actually laughed. It was beautiful. Both of my kids are so precious to me. I hate being torn between the two of them, or so it feels, anyway.

Ridge has been so sweet today, more like himself...smiling, talking, being peaceful, even napping. We have a sleep study tonight to figure out the apnea/breathing issues, though he hasnt been having them so far today...blessing that is, but if something's wrong, it needs to show up when we do the study! MRI in the morning to check for neurological issues or something b/c of the apnea, i think? I don't know, I just do the tests b/c I want them to know for sure what is wrong. But MRI means sedation which means no eating, which could mean more dark/red/bloody dirty diapers. This is like some mystery we're having to solve...only it isn't really that exciting b/c it's happening to us.

We are sleepy and about to get some rest for the night, hopefully. Our nurse is someone I know, so that should be good. Last night I was so exhausted I fell asleep praying in the chapel and my mom had to come find me b/c i was so asleep i didn't hear my phone ring-- three different times.

Today we had some visitors-- two wonderful women I grew up around. One who is like my second mother and who has been faithful to visit four times already, I believe. Such a blessing every time I see her. The other has always been a woman I look up to, b/c she has faced much adversity with much grace in her life. She has gone through times I don't think I would be strong enough to go through, and seeing her today really did mean so much to me. I know she understands my pain right now. Thank you to both of you for visiting us, and for taking care of my mom tonight as well. I love you both dearly, and it really did make my day to see you.

I believe that prayer changes things. I believe that God is good. I believe that God knew this would happen even as Ridge was being built over those 9 months I carried him w/in...and I believe that God can heal him. i am pleading for my son in prayer, and I ask you to approach the Throne of Grace with confidence and boldy ask the Father for a miracle within my son's body.

Thank you for the prayers. Thank you for the cards and calls and visits. Today was an easier day...even at the hospital with my baby receiving another transfusion, somehow, I felt a little normal. Not that my circumstances were normal...but I just felt a little normal. And that was good.