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wife. mom. adjunct professor. we homeschool. i'm a little bit OCD. i love math. bright colors and geometric designs make me drool. we live with a medical rarity, and Jesus saved his life. through that, Jesus is changing us. The american dream and status quo is overrated...and sometimes just plain wrong. our lives, our family, our careers, our faith are all now filtered through a new lens-- thank you Jesus. welcome to our crazy. feel free to take some of it with you, we have plenty to go around.
It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it.
-- Lena Horne

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.-- Jesus Christ

Wednesday, November 7, 2012


Hi there.

Long time no see.

So, here's what I think.  We don't have cable, so I was keeping up as best I could with election coverage online last night. I'm no political junkie, but I do believe it to be important that we exercise our right to vote (my own personal clause here: IF we are educated on the candidates and issues.  There were a couple things on my ballot, for some reason, I had missed knowing would be on there, and I was frustrated with MYSELF for being one of "those" people who just didn't know.  So I think we should always be as prepared as possible-- we've done our research, on the candidates/state questions/whatever.  We aren't going into things blindly).  While keeping up with this coverage online (via CNN, Fox News (gasp!), etc etc), I was also able to keep up with it with an even more fabulous running commentary on everyone's favorite social media site, Facebook.  Oh....facebook.  loveyouhateyou.  And virtually nothing I saw there was good.  And I don't mean because Romney supporters were disappointed, or because Obama supporters were ecstatic.  Those reactions are normal. I was apathetic candidate-wise, because I would've rather voted for someone else (guess!), but in Oklahoma I didn't have that option (I digress.)  What I (we all) saw there that was so not good was the horrible, mean spirited, woe-is-me attitudes. The cutting remarks, the slander, the "I'm outta here" attitude. Some of these only came from the Republican side of things, but the ugliness was rearing its head from both parties, to be sure.  I don't need to type anymore about that, because you all probably saw that on your own news feeds if you have a bit of a diverse 'friend' group. :)

But here's the thing.  Glory be.  Seriously.  Glory straight to God. Not because I think President Obama is leading us in a place we as believers should feel comfortable. I don't.  If Romney had won, my response would be the same-- Glory.  Why?  Because before this day was even a dot on the timeline of our life, God was.  If the Lord doesn't know what every day holds, how is he the Lord at all?  And not just the knowing what each day brings, but the creating it Himself.  We know that nothing that is made has been made without Him. Nothing that has come to pass has come to pass without his permission, approval, and creation.  That doesn't mean we always love it. That doesn't mean it's always fun. That doesn't mean we always understand. That does mean things are difficult sometimes. That does mean struggles exist sometimes.  That does mean we have a lot of questions in some things.  But our Sovereign Lord is the in the business of appointing rulers, kings, authority-- sometimes in what "we" would see as for His glory.  And sometimes in what we would see as 'punishment' or 'destruction'-- this is clear throughout scripture.  I don't know what the Lord is up to, but there is no actual 'sometimes' about it.  It is ALWAYS for His glory. Always.  That is what HE exists for-- the glory of His Name!  We dont' get to pick and choose how he does things. HE is the Lord.  He is sovereign.  He has numbered each of our days, and yesterday happened exactly as he appointed it to happen.  It wasn't an accident. It wouldn't have been an accident had Romney won the election.  Knowing the Lord is sovereign and has done a few miracles, I was kind of hoping for a miraculous announcement of Ron Paul as our newest POTUS. :)  No, really.  Okay, back to the point.  What are we so up in arms about?  Our votes matter because we have a right to cast them.  They matter because we have an obligation to let our voice be heard.  But one way or the other, in an election, some side is going to be disappointed.  But in Christ, this need not be so.  We may want something different, but we can rest assured that He does not always work things out into a nice, easy ride for us.  There was no righteous man running for President, y'all.  The 'lesser of two evils' whoever he be, would still be 'some' evil.  The logic is silly.  When I think upon my 'self' sometimes, I am not excited about the next four years, to be honest. But when we who are in Christ remove ourselves from the equation and remember that He does all things for HIS GLORY, and all those things are for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose...well, it just isn't about us anymore.  So whether these four years bring prosperity and blessing, or poverty and hardship, blessed be the name of the Lord.  He is working ALL things ALL the time FOR HIS GLORY.  He can't do otherwise!

We have lived through some hard, hard things in this household.  Things that people sometimes would see and feel sorry for us, or wonder WHY would God allow that, etc....this is ridiculous.  Was it difficult? yes. was I sad often? yes.  Did I want it to be over the moment it started? yes.  BUT.  The Lord GRACIOUSLY spared our son (he didn't have to. there were times Ridge probably shouldn't have survived medically speaking.  There were times I thought he wouldn't.  there were times i submitted to the reality that this could happen), the Lord walked through that terrible terrible time WITH us, overseeing all things, and NOT. the. same. person.  Four years ago, I was not this person.  Four years ago, three years ago, even two years ago, I was battling to get over this hardship so our life could go back to "normal."  Praise the Lord He didn't just drop us then and there at my laments.  Praise the Lord he pursued us.  Praise  Him for leaving that difficulty there until His purpose was accomplished.  Praise the Lord our life is NOT "back to normal."  Because stumbling through that taught us a dependency on His providence like we had never, ever known.  Because the hardest thing we have lived through so far was also the greatest blessing- not ONLY because the Lord spared our son (although he does not ALWAYS do this , I am aware and sensitive to that reality, but that is another post entirely) but also because He used that terrible terrible thing to bring glory to His name and to grow us in holiness, to further sanctify us.

Trials will come.  But you can rest assured they never surprise the Lord. Ever. He is always before them. ALWAYS. and He always has His glory in mind.  The question is, will we be a part of that?  Will we allow ourselves to be shaped to His purpose?  Even if it is difficult? Even if it is painful? Even if it is unbearable?  Will we bear it anyway, in/with the help of the grace of God?

I voted early.  But on election day, my Bible reading fell to Habakkuk.  If you haven't read it, it's only 3 chapters, so just go ahead.  But synopsis (I will not do this justice here)-- Habakkuk was a prophet of God.  He was one of the good guys, living rightly.  But the nation he was in was in turmoil.  He was crying out to God to save them.  The Lord responds that He is doing something that Habakkuk wouldn't believe even if he were told.  Whaaaat?  And then the Lord continues by saying He would send the Chaldeans (Babylonians) to come in and seize the land.  This did not seem good.  The Babylonians were powerful and overtook a lot of nations.  They were dreaded and feared.  They come for violence.  So Habakkuk responds that he understands the Lord has appointed them to judge, but he questions if the Chaldeans will just be allowed to continue slaying nations without sparing people (it doesn't quite seem fair. They are not a righteous people, and they are strong and merciless).  So the Lord tells him in a long series of woes basically that the Chaldeans will get theirs, as well.  And Habakkuk replies that even though all of this will come to be, even though he is waiting for the day these Chaldeans will invade, even though things are bad ("....though the fig tree should not blossom and there be no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive should fail and the fields produce no food, though the flock should be cut off from the fold and there be no cattle in the stalls, yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds' feet and makes me walk on high places."-- habakkuk 3:17-19

So whatever your take is on the new POTUS, or on the next four years-- whether you are jubilant or discouraged-- it doesn't really matter. The Lord has appointed this day.  Heck, he knows what will happen tomorrow- he appointed that, too.  And in a year? four years?  he's already there!  And it may be better or worse than we could possibly imagine in these next four years, but one thing is for sure and for certain, it will ultimately be for His glory.  And THAT is all that matters for those of us in Christ.  This world isn't our home, anyway!

Glory be.