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wife. mom. adjunct professor. we homeschool. i'm a little bit OCD. i love math. bright colors and geometric designs make me drool. we live with a medical rarity, and Jesus saved his life. through that, Jesus is changing us. The american dream and status quo is overrated...and sometimes just plain wrong. our lives, our family, our careers, our faith are all now filtered through a new lens-- thank you Jesus. welcome to our crazy. feel free to take some of it with you, we have plenty to go around.
It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it.
-- Lena Horne

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.-- Jesus Christ

Friday, December 24, 2010

i am an inconsistent blogger. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I have really been slacking off on the whole blogging thing. I truly truly enjoy blogging, and most definitely needed this habit desperately as Ridge was doing so badly.  Tonight, while I am waiting on the ever famous Pioneer Woman Cinnamon roll dough to be ready for the next step (this is my first time making these famous puppies! i'm so excited i'm almost drooling!).....I thought I would write a bit for you.  I'm not sure how many of you keep up with us, but I know some of you like updates, so here's a short one:
1. Sawyer-- growing so much, reading, being a great friend to Ridge and a great help around the house.  He is getting too big for me....he understands things, good and bad, that I don't think he is old enough to understand.  He is truly not a baby anymore.  And so this is sad. It is also happy, because he is becoming a wonderful young man.
2. Ridge-- is a mess!  He looks like his daddy and is as ornery as his daddy (who is as ornery as HIS daddy...who probably was as ornery as HIS daddy...Cary men have a mischievous streak in them!  and it is to be admired!).  Ridge has figured out how to dance-- if we sing or play music, he dances....which to him, is spinning around and around in circles.  It's quite hilarious.  He has had 4 blood transfusions, I believe, this month.  He was sick for the first 3 and we aren't sure what was up with the 4th one.  His diapers look good though and his hemoglobin today was very good.  His platelets have been running low (30,000ish, and usually he is about 50,000)-- so prayers for an increase there would be great.  The 30s aren't a big deal, I just worry if he begins bleeding he will not have very many platelets to help him out, and we reaaaaalllllllyyyyy don't like to transfuse platelets as they irritate his condition.
3. Bdawg-- is off work for one more entire week and that is WONDERFUL for us all.  He got a dehydrator for his birthday and has been making lots of deer jerky. Some has been grooooosssss but some has been very tasty!  He had his 31st birthday this month...
4. Me-- I had my 29th birthday this month and I plan to live this year like the 20something I still am.  Not a lot else is new with me.  Oh, but exciiiiting about this birthday this year:  My sweet friend Emily delivered her baby girl, Nora, on MY birthday!  Nora and I share a birthday now, AND she was born weighing in at the same weight, and measuring the same height, as Sawyer did when he was born! How neato!

Christmas is tomorrow.  The boys are receiving a boatload of gifts, because some fellow friends/coworkers/community members were very giving to our boys again this year.  We didn't expect it and are so appreciative. I'd already done a little bit of shopping for both kids. This might be one of the biggest Christmases they ever have, as far as "getting" goes....I can't believe how good people are to us!  We have saved many  of the gifts to use for birthdays (both boys have spring birthdays), which will be nice, because not only did this generosity help us out with Christmas, but it is going to help us out with birthdays as well.  I am overwhelmed at the love people have for our kiddos!  Sawyer is very into Santa this year, and Ridge is pretty muchso too...except sitting on his lap at Bass Pro was NOT fun for Ridge.  He screamed and screamed!  See:

Oh well.  We are also talking a lot about baby Jesus and how Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christ.  In fact, I overheard Sawyer telling Ridge how to pray the other night.  He said, Ridge, you just say, "Dear Jesus, I want a (i forget what he said). Amen.  But you can say whatever you want.  I mean, it doesn't matter you can tell Jesus whatever you want to say."  So...he started out teaching Ridge to pray to Jesus like Santa (which I know isn't right, but if you overheard the conversation, it WAS funny), but he finished it off by teaching Ridge you can talk to God about anything, you can say whatever you need to say to Him (which IS right).  Sawyer is a great big brother.

I'm starving.  I'm tired. And I have a toy to build tonight, so I will sign off. But not without remembering where we were this time LAST Christmas Eve.  We were home.  We had been home about 48 hours.  Ridge was still bleeding, and was on Octreotide 24/7.  It was the night of the Oklahoma Blizzard (INSANE!) and our home health delivery guy wasn't able to get Ridge's Octreotide to him.  A coworker of Brandon's, and a lifesaver, for sure, got in his 4wd on Christmas Eve and went and found the delivery guy, got our meds, delivered them to us (but first took the delivery guy back to his office), then went around helping other people he knew were stranded in the blizzard.  And the next morning, Ridge went to the hospital again.  Last year was horrendous-- not just Christmas.  We have come so far, Thanks be to God.  Only by His grace, that is for sure.  Tonight, our thermostat seemingly quit.  Another coworker of Brandon's, a wonderfully nice man, came by and he and his son figured out the problem and got our heater up and running again.  On Christmas Eve.  Thank you, Lord, for people who are willing to help people out.  May we all be willing to do what we can to help a "neighbor."  Since Christmas is really about giving, anyway!  And we are so indebted to those two men, as well as many other people who have helped us along the way, and mostly to our Saviour, who many years ago came to earth, as a sweet baby, and grew to be a perfect, sinless man, who has given us the salvation and freedom we never deserved in the first place.  That is Who we are mostly indebted to...and because of some of you, His love has shown even more brightly upon us this last year and a half.

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 2, 2010


It's the most wonderful tiiiime of the year....

maybe it is.  it sure used to be.  and maybe maybe it is again.  i have some Christmas spirit this year.  last year, not to say i was in a funk necessarily...but, it was just difficult last year to have much Christmas spirit.  This year, we have put our tree up...we have put lights on the outside of the house...i have hung the stockings and bought the wrapping paper and all the gifts and have made two different batches of Christmas cookies...I have listened to Christmas music.  We have watched the Grinch...we have watched Elf...we have watched Christmas Vacation. We have the nativities out....we have our advent story board thingymabob my pal Crystal gave us all ready to go and we opened the first "box" today.  It is a fun way to count down to Christmas.

Sawyer understands about Santa this year (yes, we practice the "Santa" idea).  It is bound to be a great Christmas.  Hopefully we will be home!  The odds of that happening, I'd say, are pretty good....

I have been hesitant to say it so far, but I'm going to tonight....even though Ridge is running close to his transfusion level....he has made it 18 days so far without needing blood....and his diapers have pretty much been perfectly normal that entire time...and....he only had ONE blood transfusion the entire month of November.  And ZERO hospitalizations during November, other than the one night he had to get blood (and then he really only stayed the night bc he got blood late in the day and it is ridiculous to go home in the middle of the  night.)

Our house is FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZING.  I might not be able to finish this blog post simply bc my toes and hands are like ice and I need to go to bed and cover up with a gerjillion blankets.   BRRRRRR.

Ridge has a stuffy  nose, as do Sawyer and I.  Ridge has been coughing a bit so I am worried if he doesnt' get over this soon (he does not seem to be ill, just maybe a cold, or possibly even weather change stuff, I am really not sure), that he will begin bleeding again.  Maybe he won't, but it is a natural thing to worry about with him/his disease.

That's really all there is to report....we had Thanksgiving, the four of us, at our house.  I made a turkey, as well as many of the trimmings....and I made two pies. I'd never cooked a turkey, or pretty much any of the stuff I cooked that day.  But it was all good. And while we missed being with family- I can say two things with certainty: 1) it sure beat being in the hospital and 2) it's way less stressful to cook all that stuff than lug two children and all their belongings to the car and out of town.  I didn't imagine the 2nd thing could be true at all, but it most definitely was true.  Kids make traveling so difficult.

hmmm....I just don't know if there is a lot more to tell tonight. I'm sure that makes you happy-- because that means not a lot is going on, and that is GREAT news for us!

Ridge is walking walking walking everywhere.  He still is not really talking so I am working on some sign language with him.  He can sign "more" very well and very consistently.  He can sometimes sign "Thank You" and we are working on "eat," "drink," and "be merry" "please."  I'm sure some of you did/do sign language with your kids, but I'm gonna be honest here- I always though that was WEEEEEIRD before....but I don't anymore, bc even though it is only two words so far that Ridge can sign, it is a way for him to communicate with us, and he is at the age he HAS to be able to communicate, bc it is just too frustrating for him to not be able to tell us what he wants. So, I will apologize for thinking it weird before.  Because it most certainly is not weird.  It is wonderful being able to see him talk, even if it is only two words!

Sawyer is reading. Yep, reading. I'm bragging. I am.  But he is READING!  I could never in my whole life teach young kids. It is way too stressful, and teaching kids to read is just not something for which I want to be responsible.  However....I have loved seeing Sawyer's progress from working with him at home!  We've learned all our letters and most of their phonetic sounds, and he struggled a LONG time putting the letters together sound-wise...but he's got it now.  It's so neat!  He also knows a lot of memory verses which is way cool to hear....we are currently working on John 3:16, and while most of you know that verse, we don't always remember that it is really a pretty lengthy verse....I am impressed how quickly he retains memorization type things. 

I have  lot of little things like that to share with you but I am literally shaking like crazy here because it is so cold.  Time to turn up the heater and crawl under those covers!

Good night!