the third birthday was crazier than the party

Sawyer turned three today.  Let's recap the events.  It all started around 7:20 when I woke him up to tell him happy birthday...we were headed to the zoo, early, to beat the heat.  I told him "Happy Birthday" and he said, "it's MY birthday?" i told him he was three...he said, "no...i don't want to be 3!"  finally I convinced him it was a good idea, and we started getting ready.  the morning at home was fairly uneventful, until it was almost time to go and he said to me, "here's my cup.  (pause)...i can't drink it b/c it's old.  and i don't drink old stuff.  it's old. my cup is old. " this goes on and on and i'm just nodding, okay yeah, b/c he was at his pretend kitchen so I figured he was pretending...so i was kind of ignoring him. I won't lie.  I was.  Until Brandon said, "yes, that is old. disgusting" (or something like that)...apparently, in the pretend refrigerator, a sippy cup of strawberry milk had been placed, who knows when...now..or this morning, it had turned to yogurt or something, and sawyer actually drank some of it. disgusting.  Anyway, we finally made it to the zoo.  The zoo currently has a dinosaur exhibit and Sawyer was so excited to go see it.  So in we go....and he keeps asking "are the dinosaurs little or big?"  i didn't know so I said, "medium sized, but they aren't alive.  they can't hurt you or anything."  We walk in, and there is t-rex growling audio playing non stop....sawyer is okay.  I see the dinosaur around the corner, and as soon as we even begin to round it, Sawyer sees the dinosaur also, and lets out a horrendously loud screech and crawls out of the stroller and as fast as he can up into brandon's arms, locking brandon's neck in a death grip.  so we turned right back around and went out....so I don't know if the exhibit was any good at all.  Some other things happened that were funny, I'm sure, at the zoo, but the real kicker is when we left the zoo...so keep reading.

We wanted to take sawyer to lunch but he didn't want to pick where.  I wanted to go to a grill type restaurant in Edmond, but on the way we passed County Line Bbq and went there instead.  I know a lot of people like the food there; I, however was not impressed.  Possibly b/c I didn't have a chance to enjoy it.  Here's why:  we get there....there's no one there, but they seat us in the middle of the restaurant.  There ARE private areas blocked off with only one table in them, but they seat US, the family with a newborn and a three year old, in the middle.  Then the lunch rush hits and it isn't too busy, but the people that are there get seated right around us.  Sawyer is talking as loudly as possible, dumping all the Sweet N Lows out everywhere, stacking the little butter cube things and dumping them on the floor as well...he bends down to pick them up and busts his face on the corner of the table.  Ridge is already screaming, now Sawyer is, and I forgot to mention I am at the table by myself at this time.  If only I'd known this was only the beginning, we would've left right then.  Sawyer progressively got louder, and usually he was saying un nice things b/c he was usually getting in trouble for throwing things on the floor.  We have this business lady eating lunch all alone beside us and she does not look very kid-friendly, so all I can think about is how annoying we must be.  Ridge won't stop crying, Sawyer is screaming because finally he's gotten so bad Brandon's picked him up to take him to the bathroom and give him a spanking (don't judge- yes, we swat the child). Sawyer's really only this mad b/c I took a bite of his corn on the cob to make sure it wasn't hot and Sawyer doesn't know how to share...  So he's yelling "NO DADDY, I DON'T WANT ONE (a spanking)!" and everyone is looking....Brandon and Sawyer finally come back, Ridge doesn't calm down, I've scarfed down what food I can eat while holding a baby and I get the heck out of there.  Ridge and I hang out outside and he is just fine.  We finally get brave enough to go back in....here's the kicker...Sawyer's acting normal, I sit down, Ridge is fairly calm for just a second, but then Sawyer gets this look on his face...this look I've thought about since yesterday, just fearing it would happen when we were in a restaurant.  It did . He gets this grimace and these huge eyes and he says, "EEEEEEEEEEE." or maybe "AAAAAAAAAA." Idk, but whatever sound it was, it was followed by "My tummy hurts."  This can only mean one thing in our household- he needs to poop.  He usually says this while clenching his backside....So i'm utterly embarassed but Ridge is crying again so I take the child and we sit in the car for the remainder of the lunch session (except we get stopped before we get out the door by some total stranger man who has to ask me all about Ridge and his feeding sessions...yeah...weird.) Anyway, apparently, when I left, things only got worse.  Here's my telling of the remainder, but I wasn't actually there.  The yelling, the "EEEE...my tummy hurts." only got louder and more frequent and worse....Brandon's really sweating it here, and then....what we'd both feared....occurs.  No, sawyer didn't poop his pants- he tries to avoid that- this is much worse than just pooping his pants and saying 'I pooped my pants.'  That, I could handle...no...the worst possible thing....Sawyer clenches up and yells, "POOOOOOOOOOOP!"  

out loud

in the restaurant. 

everyone hears.

people are laughing, quietly.

and the waiter, who has been kind of slow, does not waste time here, he takes the check and the money w/o any haste and brings the change quickly.  

The day has been eventful after that as well, but nothing like the restaurant, which wasn't kid-friendly anyway, but we won't ever go back.  I don't think i'll ever take both children to a restaurant again until Ridge can be content and Sawyer is willing to use a toilet to poop....without yelling in clenched pain.  

After nap, Sawyer opened a few gifts, then we ate dinner....dinner is where Sawyer told his daddy tonight, "I will rip your face off and eat it."  hmmm....what is the deal, kid?