Sawyer Miles. I love you. Here's what's so special about you, blue-eyed baby.
You are super smart. You pick up on things quickly and repeat things after hearing them only once. You don't always hear what I want you to hear, and sometimes you hear what I do NOT want you to hear, and that is part of what makes you a man. :) You are super sweet. You will say to me or daddy, or Ridge, "I love you" of your own accord, without being prompted. You will say to us, or Ridge, "you're the best ever." You give hugs and kisses and have a great laugh.
At this point in time you also throw a lot of rebellious fits and cop an attitude. But I'm chalking that up to the fact you're 3/4 and that you've had a decently ridiculous past year. You've lived in the hospital even though you aren't the one who's "sick." You've learned words like steroid, carafate, octreotide, and MLT. You've eaten more junk in the past year than you probably ever will the rest of your life- if I have anything to do with it. And you take most of these things in stride. You make my day at least once every day. You love to be a helper and you have such a curious spirit. You ask questions like, "will there be a potty in heaven?" and you recall your PaPa often, remembering heaven is where he is, and you are old enough to be sad about his death. You say the sweetest prayers for baby Ridge, like, "Dear God, please take Ridge's MLT away forever and don't let it ever EVER come back so we never have to go to the hospital ever again. Amen." You are repeating "Let your words be few" every day bc I say that so much to you-- you inherited my blabbermouth. You sing songs and dance a lot, and like to have tons of fun. You think "vendin' machines" are super cool. You think the nurses on the 8th floor only exist to entertain you and play with you. You know how to germ-x your hands better than any 3/4 year old out there. You know your way around the hospital better than some adults. You are timidly brave. You like to do things on your own but if I'm too far away, you don't like that. You LOOOOOVE Toy Story and Ninja Turtles. You can dress yourself.
You are precious to us. You are precious to God. And I am so sorry your life has been rocked upside down this year. But I know that you will only have fond memories of your time at the hospital. One day, this will all be behind us and we will go camping and fishing and vacationing again like a normal family of four. One day you will know what it's like to really play with your brother, even moreso than now. One day you will not be afraid to go swimming and your brother will actually be ABLE to get in the water, and we will have fun at someone's pool, or at the lake, actually IN the water. That day isn't today, and that day won't be tomorrow, but that day is one day closer with each passing day. You have been such a trooper through it all and I love you more every day, big boy. You are one of the greatest gifts I will ever receive. Happy Happy Birthday, Spits.