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wife. mom. adjunct professor. we homeschool. i'm a little bit OCD. i love math. bright colors and geometric designs make me drool. we live with a medical rarity, and Jesus saved his life. through that, Jesus is changing us. The american dream and status quo is overrated...and sometimes just plain wrong. our lives, our family, our careers, our faith are all now filtered through a new lens-- thank you Jesus. welcome to our crazy. feel free to take some of it with you, we have plenty to go around.
It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it.
-- Lena Horne

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.-- Jesus Christ

Saturday, May 21, 2011

terribly busy, no blogging, thoughts, ramblings...

Well, considering the blogging front is dwindling at my fingertips (my blogging front, anyway), I figured it was time for some updates.  Thankfully, there isn't a lot to report!  We are still doing well- Ridge has been transfusion free for the past 9 and a half weeks-- holla! He's the sweetest boy around, kissing everything in sight-- momma, daddy, brother, the dishwasher, the bathtub, you know, just whatever.  It's hilarious. He is sort of learning to run, which is quite funny because he throws his arms behind him and then just stomps really rapid-fire.  He has learned to stick out his tongue, so he thinks...but really he is just opening his mouth really big.  It's hilarious. Every single time.

Allergies are kicking our tails right now.  The oldest child is all puffy eyed and congested, while the youngest is all faucet- nosed.  yucko.  But everyone seems to feel okay, which is good, because as an allergy sufferer myself, I know how bad allergies can make one feel at times.

What else is new? Oh, yeah..I have a job!  I will be teaching two developmental math courses in the fall at a local community college!  I am nervous and excited, and so thankful for the opportunity that presented itself through a friend. I totally consider this an open door provided by the Lord.'s new, it's scary, but I think i'm really going to like it-- it won't change our schedule much at all, and I will get to be back in a classroom.

Other than that, no big news to report here.  In light of the new job, I have really been thinking back on the last two years and how much the Lord has done for us.  I mean, two years ago, I had to leave my job because of circumstances.  It was a tough decision but an obvious one.  I didn't have to battle internally over what I would do, I knew what I had to do, even if I didn't want to.  Things got really bad with baby and we were clinging to faith that seemed impossibly small.  And...God came through.  In spite of our small faith.  Because it isn't about us.  And things stayed difficult for kind of a long time.  And things still aren't normal.  But gradually, things got more normal, and they are continuing to become more and more normal.  And I am often reminded of that.  Of the times we have been brought through, of the promises that have been made to us by a faithful and loving God, of the lessons we have learned and are still learning, of the faith that has grown and will continue to grow.  I find it fascinating that even as adults, we don't have to/get to just be "done" with stuff.  Life keeps coming at us, and God isn't finished with us, and lessons are still learned and faith is still tested, and miracles can still happen- in us, through us, around us.  In my own life right now, I am being challenged to realize/recall/remember/learn for the first time, I don't know-- to see that in this one life that we've been given- in this one life that I've been given-- there IS something great that God wants to do not just IN me, but THROUGH me, for others, maybe for just one person, maybe for the world! I don't know.  But I know it's true for all of us who are believers-- just floating around through our life, doing everything like everyone else, blending in...well, that's weird.  That isn't how it's supposed to be!  There are GREAT things in store for us-- we have to seize them!  I am reading a book by Steven Furtick right now that reminds us of having a Joshua like faith.  Before God is going to do a "sun stand still" type of miracle, there will be challenges-- there will be obedience that is tested.  There will be difficult decisions made. THere will be things done that I/you/we may not want to do.  But that doesn't matter.  Because to walk through those things in faith will bring us out on the other side to see the glorious things God has in store for us.  And I don't want to get so caught up in the junk that's around me/us that I miss that.  And I don't think we talk about that kind of stuff enough. I don't think that living our faith is important enough to most of us.  I'm not pointing fingers- well, if I am, I'm pointing some back at me, too, anyway-- I'm just saying, it doesn't seem like faith is an integral part in our life as much as it should be. I don't want faith only when I "need" it.  Because...that isn't faith.  I don't want a genie God-- "what can He do for ME?"  That's stupid.  I don't want a generic God-- "well, I'll be prayin for ya...crossing my fingers too.  God's good!" Then turn around and forget that was ever even said, not give it another thought.  I want THE God.  You know, the one who split the Red Sea, made the sun stand still, created all the earth and space, raised the dead, turned water to wine, died and rose again- THE God.  And I don't like how we say those kind of things and then forget about them.  We shouldn't just want this on Easter, or tomorrow, or 5 times a year, or when things get tough.  Every day. Because He's the same. Every day.  And unfortunately, so are we, a lot of the time.  If I'm gonna be the same every day, I don't want to be the same as everyone else is the same!   I know I'm rambling...sometimes my thoughts go down clearly, other times I'm working them out. I'm still working this out.  How about you?


Kili @ Live Each Moment said...

I am so glad Ridge is doing so well

Blayne Royse said...

So uplifting :)!