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wife. mom. adjunct professor. we homeschool. i'm a little bit OCD. i love math. bright colors and geometric designs make me drool. we live with a medical rarity, and Jesus saved his life. through that, Jesus is changing us. The american dream and status quo is overrated...and sometimes just plain wrong. our lives, our family, our careers, our faith are all now filtered through a new lens-- thank you Jesus. welcome to our crazy. feel free to take some of it with you, we have plenty to go around.
It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it.
-- Lena Horne

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.-- Jesus Christ

Tuesday, January 24, 2012


I betcha didn't know the reason I've been gone for the past 2+weeks is because I hurt my knee. Running. We assume....

Yes. It happened. all of my athletic glory.  I was hardcore, people.  Run.ning.   6AM-ish, 2 days a week, and only a bit later than that the third day of the week. Yoga/Pilates 2-3 other days a week. And nothing 1-2 days a week (I like those days best).  Then it happened. I went for my 6 AM run, and made it about 1/4 of the distance....and my stupid knee just wouldn't stop throbbing. I couldn't sufficiently walk, much less run.  So I called it quits, came home, was annoyed.  Emailed my friends, one of whom is a doctor...she prescribed a visit to my actual doctor.  So...the next day there I was.  I still couldn't walk well at all. I'd been icing the knee. I'd been resting it. I'd been taking Advil. Nada.  So the doctor pushed and prodded the knee, and was pretty certain nothing was too amiss (no tears, no sprain, etc).  Bursitis. An inflammation of the bursa, if you will.  That junk doesn't play, people.  It. HURTS.  Like, makes you wanna cry when you put your underwear on-- not because you are getting old and have two children and have ugly granny panties kind of crying, but cry because you can't even move to clothe yourself.  And after that, there are pants....and socks...and shoes.  For the love!  Disastrous.  So anyway, yes, the little fluid filled sac that is supposed to help my joints move smoothly  (we have many of these in our body) was inflamed.  An RX for some NSAIDS, as well as icing and resting and doing some strengthening exercises was the remedy.  After a week of that, and severe limping....and missing activities...and crying....I went back to the doctor.  She was more than accommodating to give me a shot right in the knee.  Within 2-3 days, I was able to cut back to only taking half of my medicine....and today I haven't needed any.  Much less limping.  Much less crying.  Much less drama from the mama (at least with regards to my athletic injury.  since i'm an athlete.)

So anyway, I feel much better now.

So my knee is almost recovered. I will be working up my nerve to run again....

Onto another type of recovery.  So I've been reading-- lots of things...The Hunger Games Trilogy (oooooh looooove thooooose), the Bible (a few days behind in my 90 day reading plan...but going strong-- some of those books of the Law....well I had to be put on a slow track plan, self-imposed, for those.  But we're almost to 2nd Samuel now, so things are moving a bit more quickly), "7" by Jen Hatmaker (READ.IT.), Interrupted, also by Jen Hatmaker....Boundaries, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend...and a few others I can't think of off the top of my head.  So, anyway, through several of these books, as well as several instances in my life lately, I can not shake this.....this thing I can't even put into the correct wordage.

  I spoke with someone the other day who was talking about someone praying with them; in and of itself, that is a wonderful gesture.  If someone's praying for me, I love that!  If someone feels compelled to pray with me, I love that, too!  What I don't love is what I heard next-- in that praying with this person, the prayer that was uttered was more of a lecture and preaching at that person than a communication with the Lord.  What is prayer?  Is it our opportunity to interact with one another?  Perhaps on a level of community, it is.  But prayer itself is an open opportunity for us to speak to the living God.  If I see a fault in someone's life, first of all, I may not even know the truth there or the entire story, and second of all, if I want to pray for that person's eyes to be opened or whatever, there's no reason I can't ask God for that, but to do so in a way that is so off putting and so blatant and so in front of that exact individual who may be in a delicate situation that I really know very little about?  really?  I just don't get it.  I don't.  Prayer is an opportunity for us to fall before the throne of the Lord and to praise Him for who He is in the midst of the ugly that we often are.  To ask Him to clean up the ugly parts of who WE are and turn them into the very thing He desires us to become.  It isn't my opportunity to preach at someone.  If I need to confront someone about something, prayer isn't a hedge to do it so that they will maybe hear me say this about them in my prayer to God and thus get the idea that I think they need to change their ways.  WHAT?  no.  If I think I need to tell someone something like that, that's what I should do. Tell them.  Not send a subliminal prayer message.  Because that's gonna go over well.  If I'm praying, even if it is in unison with a body of believers around me, even if thousands of us are crying out for the same thing from the Lord, prayer is  He hears us.  It doesn't matter if anyone else does. That isn't what it's for.  Nope. That kind of livin' isn't going to 'learn' anybody anything.  Love, people. Love.  That isn't to say we shouldn't pray FOR shouldn't preach AT them if we are praying WITH them.  nope. I don't think so, anyway.  I'm guessing that indirectly that kind of leaves the person on the receiving end of that not really wanting to come back for more of that kind of love.

I have had conversations recently, some with myself, some with other more sane human beings....about "church".  I love our church family-- love the friendly people there, love the honesty that pours out of our pastors, love the sense of family, even though we have not been near as involved as I would like (due to Ridge/health stuff).  I love THE church family in general (globally, universally, internationally)-- the body of believers, the absence of definition by denomination, but the relationship amongst us being knit together by our common thread in Christ-- by the salvation He has brought us, and by the change we long to continue experiencing and the change we long to bring and the eternity we hold to.  But I don't always love "church" in the sense many Americans think of it...the buildings, the "have to check this off my list for the week" mentality.  And it doesn't matter what "church" you go to, there are people in every denomination (some more than others! :) ) who just "do" church.  That's what they've always done.  Maybe they've said some prayer or walked down some aisle, and far be it from me to determine anyone's sincerity in salvation-- I sure hope people don't try to determine mine, because there are days I'd be better off to just hide under the bed all day-- but really they just "do" church. Sunday morning, maybe a class, maybe Sunday night, maybe even Wednesday night. Heck, I was at the church every time the doors were open from childhood till I was about 18 years old.  But for some, that's all it is, a "to do"....a sit-in-the-same-seat-every-week-ritual-and-if-you're-in-my-seat-ima-gonna-tell-ya-that's-fosho redundance.  Bless.You.  BLESS. YOU.  I will pray for you.  Not at you. For you.  Because when that stuff happens and other people come hungry to meet Jesus but encounter you first, they decide maybe they just won't come back.  oooooh that we would BE the church!  That we would love the new faces that we see in the BUILDING, in the parking lot, across the street, at work, at the grocery store....that joy would fill our hearts and pour out of our mouths....that tears would fall for the hurting....that prayers of restoration and healing would be prayed....that hungry and homeless would be fed (LITERALLY, PHYSICALLY!) and housed and helped by us, so that Jesus would shine so brightly that our stupid humanity could not cloud His glory!  AAAAAAAAAAH!  We need to rise up!  We need to need to neeeeeeeeeeeed to!  If we can not have joy in our hardships, and can not love those who hurt us, and can not give up our flippin seat to someone who obviously had no idea you had to buy season tickets to the show, then what does that say about our love for God?!?!  Wreck us, O Lord...for your Glory, and your renown!  May our arms be open wide to the hurting, may the scales fall from our eyes and you allow us to see the needs right before our very faces.  Humble us!  Change all those 'us'es to 'me's so that I don't sound like I'm preaching my prayer :).  Lord, give us hearts and hands to love the hurting, feed the hungry, clothe the needy, help the helpless, hold the orphans, care for the widows....not in word, not in prayer alone, but in DEED.  Give legs to our words.  Change everything so many of us have been comfortable with for far too long.  There is recovery that needs to happen, and this movement is stirring in the hearts of many people of God. 

If you need a seat at church this Sunday, I can totally promise that the row we're usually on is full of crazy because our two kids sit with us (one is known to laugh or cry out loud often...the other one is fairly consistent at silently stinking up the area (and this is the one NOT in diapers anymore))...and for those reasons, I will gladly give you my chair. :) 

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.


Courtney and Stephen Osborne said...

I am glad you are feeling better! I had bursitis in my shoulder when I was pregnant and it is SUPER painful! I couldn't lift my arm so Stephen had to do my hair, that was awful too. The shot works great.

alisha said...

Ha that is so funny- not that you were hurting, but that Stephen had to do your hair! :) What a good husband, though!