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wife. mom. adjunct professor. we homeschool. i'm a little bit OCD. i love math. bright colors and geometric designs make me drool. we live with a medical rarity, and Jesus saved his life. through that, Jesus is changing us. The american dream and status quo is overrated...and sometimes just plain wrong. our lives, our family, our careers, our faith are all now filtered through a new lens-- thank you Jesus. welcome to our crazy. feel free to take some of it with you, we have plenty to go around.
It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it.
-- Lena Horne


The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.-- Jesus Christ

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

three weeks today...time stands still to everyone here but us?

I hate to get frustrated over any of this b/c it's out of my control...but that in itself is frustrating. Ridge was supposed to get a more permanent temporary line put in his arm today, bc the line in his leg isn't working well, and the permanent line in his chest has only one place to pump meds in or draw blood out, but can't do both at the same time, b/c...well, you'd need 2 lines to do that. SO anyway, the nurse who will be helping w/ the procedure comes in yesterday and gives me all the "scare you silly" risks, all the while you know you don't have a ton of option but to sign consent b/c your kid needs the line in. The way Ridge's disease works, or one thing it does, is "gobble up" platelets. So, there is no sense in pumping him up with platelets b/c his body destroys them and, in fact, it causes his condition to be worse. But to do a procedure, platelet counts have to be up to 50K. Ridge is NEVER at 50K, so he was going to need to be transfused. I told the nurse that (the one who will be doing the procedure), but I also explained to her they wouldn't transfuse unless he was below 10K, except in situations like this where a procedure needs the counts to be up to 50K. So I said probably they would transfuse in the night or early morning. I am really struggling to stay calm and keep the faith this morning, b/c apparently, no one made orders for platelets. When I said he would get them in the night or morning, I was assuming that SOMEONE would order them. I don' t have authority to make it happen. When I got up to Ridge's room @ 7 this morning and he hadn't received platelets, it sure didn't appear like it was a major concern to anyone else. But when the team shows up to put the line in I promise it will matter. I don't get it. I think all of our nurses are great, and it isn't really any one of their faults- it's the other lady who didn't tell someone to make the order...or she did and they didn't do it...or they did but it didn't get passed on, or maybe they decided to just not do the line at all, but either way, if someone could communicate with me on this stuff, that would be super.

I have literally been sick to my stomach over it this morning. Then an ebb of semi- sanity will flow over and remind me that he hasn't had that line for 3 weeks, one more day won't probably matter. Everything comes as no surprise to God, who knew this would happen, and he knows why it happened. I am trying to remember that...it's not like we haven't dealt with heavier issues while we have been here. But this one is really hanging me up, andI can't figure out why. I just can't get a peace about it and I'm just getting frustrated beyond belief...b/c the time is just ticking away on the clock above me, and I can't figure out why the platelets haven't even been requested. I don't get it. It's been an hour since I requested they check on the situation...and no checking has been done. Pray for peace along with healing. No moment here has given me as much unrest as this one, and again, I can not pinpoint why, but for some reason, it just keeps eating away at me.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

2 Peter 3:8-9. But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.

Lord I just pray that you walk with Brandon, Alisha, Sawyer and Ridge today. Give them comfort Lord--let them lean not on their own understanding but keep them ever leaning on you Lord, Abba Father.

Anonymous said...

Our Father, I pray right now, in Jesus' name that you will grant peace to Alisha and Brandon. I thank you, Lord, that you have NEVER been surprised by man's actions or inactions and you saw this situation coming while Ridge was still in the womb. I ask for the grace for Alisha and Brandon to trust you ever more each moment and I thank you that you are still in control.

trblmkrtess said...

Oh Alisha, my heart just aches for you right now. I even feel for the doctors who must be tearing their hair out trying to figure out a solution to Ridge's problems. I pray that God provide His divine wisdom as they make their way through this complicated situation. May they never forget that Ridge is a baby and not a condition. And, I pray that they do a better job communicating with you.

Father, I just come to you on behalf of Ridge and his family. I ask that you provide them with peace and rest. I ask that you provide them with healing--whether openly divine, or delivered by the hands and hearts of man. Sweet Jesus, please gather this family close to you. May they press in so deeply that they hear the beat of your heart--the heart that was willing to go silent to save us--and the heart that now will never grow silent again.

I thank You Lord, in the midst of this storm, that You are a good God with a good plan. May Your will be done in Ridge's life, in Your timing which is always perfect. Until then, help them turn their worries into prayers, and may Your peace rest upon them in a supernatural way.

In the precious name of Jesus,

Amen

Alisha, I'll be donating blood here in Stillwater on Friday in Ridge's name. I am O-neg. Perhaps some of it really will be useful to him.

Though I'm not saying much, I am following along with you and my prayers are for Ridge's complete healing.

In His faithful grip,

Teresa

Anonymous said...

May the love of God be ever present every moment of your day.

Anonymous said...

The LORD drew this vessel back to when first entering in this gate, Alisha, Give your son completely to Jesus NOW. Even Mary had to give Him UP to The Father. You must let go, and let God. Many times mothers desire to stay in the kitchen with the spoon in the pot, stirring it up for a bit, walk a way, come back in stir it some more and on we continue... The Father, is waiting that when we are done stiring and letting go of the spoon, to stay out, not pick the spoon back up and stir. For it is only then, HE CAN BEGIN HIS FULL WORK in His Perfect Will not permissible will because of our interference and desiring to be in control. HE knows we love our children, but we must take them to Mount Moriah. Genesis 22. Given in His Wisdom, Love and Mercy, to His Glory. Amen. Healing begins at Mount Moriah. In Christ's Love, Obedience, Sacrifice and Suffering, HIS~ His Perfect Peace be with you and your family in this hour of perfection and sanctification in the purifying and refining by The Purifier and Refiner Himself. HalleluYah, Amen. He collects your tears for they are in His Bottle. Be Strengthened in His Strength Alone, Amen. In Jesus Name of Nazareth, we supplicate for your lengthening of cords and strengthening the stakes, in His Name, Jesus Christ of Nazareth through The Blood of The Lamb and Power and Might of The Holy Spirit. Sealed. Amen. Christ's property, we are~ Karenlee

Had placed under the 17th August, for it was written this day of August, Tuesday 18th 2009 in The Blood of The Lamb in legal representation in The Court of Grace and Mercy for speedy vindications~

Wayne Cary said...

The evil one is messing with your mind. Do not be afraid to renounce any demonic activity that is coming against you. Father, I bind all foul spirits of despair and confusion in these parents and cast the spirits out by the authority of Jesus and by His blood. Fill them with trust, knowing that you are faithful and trustworthy. I cleanse the environment where little Ridge is lying. Bind any lurking spirits and cast them to the darkest hole of the abyss in the name of Jesus. Surround Ridge with your mighty angels to fend off any attacks from the evil one. You are Almighty Father. In Jesus' name. Amen.

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