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wife. mom. adjunct professor. we homeschool. i'm a little bit OCD. i love math. bright colors and geometric designs make me drool. we live with a medical rarity, and Jesus saved his life. through that, Jesus is changing us. The american dream and status quo is overrated...and sometimes just plain wrong. our lives, our family, our careers, our faith are all now filtered through a new lens-- thank you Jesus. welcome to our crazy. feel free to take some of it with you, we have plenty to go around.
It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it.
-- Lena Horne

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.-- Jesus Christ

Monday, November 16, 2009

not today

Today is not me monday....but, i will not be participating.  Too distracted.  Ridge is having a good day, acting great, had a bath, looks as cute as can be in his "I love Mommy" shirt (we did have on the "I love Daddy" shirt...but...someone pooped on it.  And if the poop had been yellow, I'd have left that shirt on him.  However, the poop was this color, only a couple shades darker.  I'm getting so tired of it. Back and forth, back and forth.  Ridge spit up once today and it had a teensy speck of red in it.  Teensy.  But it was there.  We got our x-ray reports back from some abdominal x-rays yesterday, and apparently, if there really is "pneumatosis" going on in there, it is worse-- now not only is it in the colon wall but it is in the small bowel wall.  GUH-REAT.  I don't have a clue how worried I'm supposed to be bc the doctors say not to be "too" worried, but we don't know if this is even what is going on and if it is, we don't know why it's going on and we don't know how to fix it.  So frustrating!  I just want to curl up and cry about it bc it's just ridiculously annoying.  And Ridge acts totally fine, which is uber confusing bc he doesn't act like his tummy hurts and his stomach is soft, like it should be, not tender to the touch or full of air like would be expected with this junk.  So what am I supposed to think?  What am I supposed to do? Totally not worry?  Well...that would be easy to do if I didn't know about it, had never been informed about it...but once you open that info, of course I'm going to be concerned about it.  Especially when the course of action posed to usually try to treat it is no food or drink and possible antibiotics. food or drink doesn't bode well w/ Ridge as far as his bleeding goes.  So how do we decide what to do?  I don't like thinking about being in the position to just decide what is most likely to save his life.  I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.  It just all makes me sick.  I want the x-ray to be repeated (it is going to be) with the result that it was an error, more than once.  That Ridge doesn't have whatever they think he has.  That MLT is the most we need to worry about...bc I don't worry about that anymore.  

I don't have anything else to type, and Ridge is literally folding in half in front of me bc he is trying to sit up...unsuccessfully!  So I must go.

Please pray for Ridge.  Today I was reminded of the verse about two or three gathering in God's name and how He is there in the midst of us.  So please, make yourself the second, third, or hundredth person gathering in the name of God to take care of our son and to take this weird pneumatosis secondary issue away.  I don't know why we are having to deal with this too...I know God has a plan and He knows what will happen, but I just want this to GO AWAY.  So pray that it DOES!


Anonymous said...

my name is Toni (Bernard)Richardson. I went to high school and college with Binet and Brandon. Anyway, you don't know me, but I know you and pray for your family constantly. Anyway, the gist of this message is I am the sponsor of Student Council at our school and we have a blood drive coming up. I was wondering about the information necessary to donate to Ridge. you can email me at

thanks and hang in there! I have faith you will be home by Christmas. :D

Megan said...

I just prayed out loud for Ridge with Kate listening on my lap, so I like to think she prayed for her friend as well. I can't imagine how hard this is for you and Brandon and Sawyer. It's easier said than done but keep trusting God-there is a reason for all this even if it takes forever to figure out. Give Ridge some kisses from us. Maybe I can stop by over the holidays. I want to come see you!! love you,

The McCoys said...

Sending prayers your way. Dustin is in OKC this week and I was dying to come and visit, but there is the issue of having to take off school. I pray for you guys daily and think about you and your family much more than that. Your strength and your faith through these tough times is making a difference and witnessing to so many.