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wife. mom. adjunct professor. we homeschool. i'm a little bit OCD. i love math. bright colors and geometric designs make me drool. we live with a medical rarity, and Jesus saved his life. through that, Jesus is changing us. The american dream and status quo is overrated...and sometimes just plain wrong. our lives, our family, our careers, our faith are all now filtered through a new lens-- thank you Jesus. welcome to our crazy. feel free to take some of it with you, we have plenty to go around.
It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it.
-- Lena Horne


The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.-- Jesus Christ

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Just a couple....

Well, idk about you, but I am growing used to, and quite fond of, the yellow and grey here on the blog.  I think we will keep it awhile.

And I hope your jaw isn't totally on the floor dropped in awe of the fact i'm posting AGAIN...twice in one week.

I don't have anything fantastico to post about.  Just a couple photos and musings...

First of all, I'm still crazy about deals and couponing.  We needed some milk anyway the other day, so running to CVS where it was only $2.99 wasn't an unreasonable request in this household. BUT I got up fast and headed over there pronto when I heard about these hair straighteners!  Don't get too fired up, they are probably all gone by now...but maybe not?? These straighteners (of which, admittedly, I need neither) are regular $30-$35ish.  They are on unmarked clearance for 75% off (so around $7-$8).  PLUS last week at CVS if you bought a conair product, you got a $5 printout (called an Extra Care Buck-- it's like credit to spend at CVS).  So if $7ish wasn't good enough on those straighteners, it was really like I paid $7, got $5 back, so one miiiight say I got them for $2.  So that's insane. I paid around $19 total for these 3 items and got back $10 in Extra Care Bucks (ECBs).  I'd say not too shabby (kinda like spending $9 for all of that).  I love love love shopping this way- we get so much, for so little!
What else... I made some coasters.  And a cute minnie mouse pillowcase dress for a big sister/little sister duo....

And... my kids are really cute.
And...Brandon's sister got married, Ridge was enamored with the idea of her wedding dress, and then he spilled water all over his wedding attire and got to boogie down semi-naked style.

He also loved the cake at the rehearsal dinner (and at the wedding...and any cake, anytime, anywhere...)....cousin Noah didn't waste time putting away the grub, either....and then they all posed on the steps for a picture (okay that was before the cake...because after the cake, Ridge looked like the ABOVE picture as well)

Aren't they all so cute?  Yes. Yes they are.


So there were a couple photos. :) Just a couple.

And here is a musing for you, if you will.  I've been reading Steven Furtick's book "Sun Stand Still" for...like...forever.  I'm a horrible reader since I have kids...no excuse or anything, I just mean I don't take/make time to read enough now that I have children. I seriously have been reading this book for probably...oh...6 months?  AWFUL of me!  But it's really good.  And I only have like 5 more pages.  Or 10.  Or is it chapters?  no no no-- pages. :)

Here is my most recent favorite excerpt:
"If all God wanted to do was get right to the happy ending, you'd be in heaven by now.  If his only intention were to make your dreams come true, he'd snap his fingers and your vision would appear out of thin air.  But that's not all God wants.  And deep down, it's not really all you want either.  You want to learn to walk by faith, not by sight.  And you can't learn that without walking through periods of complete darkness.  The apprehension and gut-level fear you'll feel in these stages may make you turn back and pursue something safer....Or you can opt for something better.  You can embrace the process with audacious faith.  Because every big dream has small beginnings.  Between the promise and the payoff, there's always a process. And that process is a breeding ground of faith.  That process has the potential to draw you closer to Jesus than you've ever been before.......The.Process.Is.The.Point."-- Steven Furtick (except I added some emphasis right there at the end...I think my process allows me that creative entitlement).

So. Yeah. Do I even need to say anything else? No. But because by now you obviously know I can blab my mouth forever, I will.  We've gone through quite a process.  So have many, if not all of you. Sure our stories are different.  But Bdawg and I were talking the other night on the way to my mom and dad's for dinner (to which my oldest child said, "Golly you guys have talked the WHOLE way here.  Can you just STOP talking?"-- you know, because we get to have a conversation so often and all. :)  Anyway, we were talking about how weird it is now.  How a year ago, our life was totally different, and how we still feel like we are on rubber legs.  I said I don't know if things ever will really feel normal again. I don't know if they ever CAN.  I have NO idea how we would EVER go back to the dark time we have lived through.  I don't know if I could make it.  I don't know if I could do it again. Although, deep down, I know you are always given the grace to withstand much more than you think you can.  But while dark times (can) cause us to question God, pray with a vengeance, be angry, be afraid, rise up in faith, cry until we literally have no tears it seems....they often are exited with a new sense of calm.  A new sense of purpose.  And while your faith may be strengthened, and your awe of the hand of God may be new and just too big for you to wrap your brain around....you may also still feel afraid.  And still question why.  and still have shaky legs because what was normal before can never even BE again because of what HAS been SINCE then.  You have been shaped.  You have been held.  You have been loved.  But you have also been scarred.  And scars don't just disappear...they are reminders of the discomfort we have felt at one time.  Like the scar on my knee- I know it's from throwing a fit and rolling over onto the scissors in fourth grade when my mom wouldn't help me on a project bc I was being a brat.  And the scar on my chin, I got that one from being an idiot and twisting my bike's handlebars back and forth and i fell right onto the asphalt road....my sister had all the courtesy in the world to just laugh at me, and all i was worried about was if I looked ugly or not.  I remember all the blood and i remember seeing the stitches' thread being pulled/laced whatever through my chin....i remember busting the stitches open again on the playground, but thankfully no major catastrophe resulted from that.  I have a scar on my ankle from being out at the farm with my Nana...she told me to crawl through this barbed wire fence, and I said I couldn't fit...she did it, so she assumed I could. I'm not athletic or coordinated in the least sense of the word.  So, I ripped open my ankle on the wire.  She said it'd be fine.  And it was, but there was a lot of blood and there's a nice big ol' scar there now.  Stretchmarks.  Reminders of the lives that have lived inside of me, and the pieces of my heart that now walk around my house every day.  Scars.  They are reminders.  They are tough.  They can be ugly.  But they are earned.  Accidentally, sometimes with no warning.  Sometimes they aren't fair. And sometimes they hurt.  And even if it's just a little scar on a finger from where the cat scratched you at one time, it's still a scar...it tells a story...and it leaves your body different than it was before that incident.  Scars.  We definitely earned a few in this household over the last couple of years.  And I think that they have changed us.  And that's okay.  We can't be the same.  What was normal, will never be normal to us again.  I don't even REMEMBER what our life was like when things were "normal."  I didn't know that'd ever be gone from us.  But it is.  And I guess I thought we'd always get it back one day...but we won't.  Because even if on the surface everything were identical- if I were back to full time work, if my kids were in school/daycare...if Ridge never needed blood and could take antibiotics when he was sick, etc....even if we had EVERYTHING we had before, we still have these scars from the road we've been on.  And that changes your perspective.  Some things matter more now, and some things matter so much less.

Scars....we all have them.  At least a couple.  They are there for a reason...whether we choose to remember the story they tell and do something about it or ignore them and try to live in spite of them...well, that's our decision.  For me, they are too deep to ignore.  I know we will adjust to a normal again, but it won't ever be like before.  And that's okay.  Because the process...that same process that gives you those scars...it's the point.



5 comments:

Twin-Daddy said...

If you don't change the font, I'm going to have to stop reading your blog. It literally hurts my eyeballs.

I'm sorry to say that, but it's true.

alisha said...

There. Is that better?

Twin-Daddy said...

Ah...much much better. I'm in bad shape. My vision has gotten so bad, I have to get up close to the screen and I can only see it well out of one eye. I have some new glasses but they had to be special ordered.

Thank you for changing the font!

alisha said...

:)

Anonymous said...

Wow. That is powerful!

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