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wife. mom. adjunct professor. we homeschool. i'm a little bit OCD. i love math. bright colors and geometric designs make me drool. we live with a medical rarity, and Jesus saved his life. through that, Jesus is changing us. The american dream and status quo is overrated...and sometimes just plain wrong. our lives, our family, our careers, our faith are all now filtered through a new lens-- thank you Jesus. welcome to our crazy. feel free to take some of it with you, we have plenty to go around.
It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it.
-- Lena Horne

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.-- Jesus Christ

Thursday, August 13, 2009

sorry for the delay

I haven't posted in a couple of days b/c...well...I've had little to post about. Nothing has really changed here...Ridge is still bleeding, his meds are still the same except for a few additions. We didn't have any sleep apnea issues last night, thank goodness. He is supposed to get his broviac line in today- sort of like a port- in his he hasn't been able to eat since 2 am....but now it's almost 9 and they say he won't get in till around 10:30 at the earliest, but he has to get blood before then and that takes about 4 basically he has to go ALL day without eating. I'm so frustrated because I could've let him eat earlier this morning and he would not be so tired and fussy, and most importantly, bleeding as bad. It's just so annoying b/c I know no one really knows how to address this disease and everyone is doing the best that they can and trying to help our child get better, but anyone who is a mom knows that it just never seems good enough bc you would give your life for your child to be made whole, or at this point, to just stop bleeding! I have to keep reminding myself that even these little frustrations, like Ridge not eating, are moments that God has already seen. I am my child's advocate, so I do have to speak up in these frustrating times, but I also am trying to keep my head on straight...because regardless, God knows what is going on...and unlike humans, HE is watching out for my son, evenmoreso than I am. And He already did give his life for Ridge to be made a different kind of whole. So, I am trying to remember that. Pray that Ridge is healed. Pray the bleeding stops. Pray that we will remember the sovereignty of God in these trying times and be given a peace that surpasses all understanding.


Crystal Cutrell said...

love you - glad you finally had a chance to update even though you didnt feel like you had much of an update to offer. just hearing your "voice" and how you are feeling is encouraging for us to know how to specifically pray for you throughout the day...saw the news link - you guys looked great, and I was so happy to see Ridge looks really good...that was encouraging, although I know it has also been frustrating because people maybe dont have the same sense of urgency they would if he looked you - praying for you of to you later

Anonymous said...

slish, i have just read ALL of your blog. i have been meaning to since you first started this...knowing that they would be VERY entertaining. i hope that you will forgive me for not texting you every single day (like i had been) but i know that sometimes, when you have told the same thing over and over again and dont have anything new to report-especially when you are sleep deprived and frazzled-that can be waring. (like, cant she just read my blog and STOP texting me - LOL) please know that i love you guys so much and my heart is ripping out right along with everyone else that your family is having to go through with this. but like you said, GOD KNEW and HE IS IN CONTROL!!! and just like the doctor told you, how LUCKY that ridge has you both for parents...that he GOT YOU!!! and finally someone else commented that your situation has shown sooooooooooooooooo many what GODs love is ALL ABOUT!!!
i am so proud of my dad for coming to OK to donate for Ridge, even tho' i was very nervous about how he was traveling there, if someone was going to be with him and if he would pass out before the needle even went in. but he said that it was something he HAD to do, b/c being a big fatty himself, he should be able to give enough for little ridge to be stored up for a LONG TIME...he is so funny.
i am absolutely AMAZED at the outpour of support for you guys and then again i am NOT! GOD is so GOOD and not that i doubted that at ALL, but its a REALLY great reminder to those of us that take HIM for granted sometimes.
I LOVE YOU GUYS...sorry this is so long, if you need ANYTHING (a DP, ice cream cone, homemade ice cream, a really nice fluffy pillow you can punch and scream into or just a shoulder to cry on and not say anything-just call/text me ANY TIME OF DAY OR NIGHT-and you got it!)