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wife. mom. adjunct professor. we homeschool. i'm a little bit OCD. i love math. bright colors and geometric designs make me drool. we live with a medical rarity, and Jesus saved his life. through that, Jesus is changing us. The american dream and status quo is overrated...and sometimes just plain wrong. our lives, our family, our careers, our faith are all now filtered through a new lens-- thank you Jesus. welcome to our crazy. feel free to take some of it with you, we have plenty to go around.
It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it.
-- Lena Horne


The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.-- Jesus Christ

Sunday, September 27, 2009

be near

I've loved this song since I heard it probably 8 years ago or whenever it was written....for some reason it's all I can think of tonight. So i'm posting the lyrics and adding it to my playlist. Nothing has changed really...Ridge had a large amt. of brown spit up tonight and the cross cover/on call resident wanted some of it sent to the lab. we couldn't get it off the burp cloth, but it's so ridiculous- it's blood. we know it. the nurses know it. but b/c it is a resident who doesn't know us (no offense to all of our friends who are in the medical profession...but as a parent it is annoying)...anyway, b/c it's someone who doesn't know us and who isn't familiar with Ridge's disease...UGH, they want it tested. so basically, we just wait b/c they wouldn't do anything with it anyway even if it was tested and came back as blood...what really could be done anyway? So, it doesn't matter, either way. We'll just tell the dr. tomorrow I guess. ANYWAY, find this song in our playlist and give it a listen if you haven't heard it before. This is what I need- I need to be reminded that God IS near in this. I know in my head that He is here. I just need to feel it- I know our faith is not dependent on our feelings, but I need to feel it. That's what I NEED. Thanks for the prayers-- I hope that wherever you are, and whatever you are needing tonight, perhaps these lyrics and/or this song can minister to you.

You are all,
big and small
beautifulohhh
And wonderful to trust in grace through faith
But I'm asking to taste~

For dark is light to you
Depths are height to you
Far is near,
but Lord I need to hear from you

Be near, oh God, Be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
Be near, oh God, Be near, oh God of us
Your nearness is to us our good
Our good

Your fullness is mine (Your fullness is mine)
Revelation divine (Revelation divine)
But oh to taste,
to know much more than a page
To feel your embrace...

For dark is light to you
Depths are height to you
Far is near
but Lord, I need to hear from you

Be near oh God Be near oh God of us
You're nearness is to us our good
Be near oh God Be near oh God of us
You're nearness is to us our good

Be near oh God Be near oh God of us
You're nearness is to us our good
Be near oh God Be near oh God of us
You're nearness is to us our good
My good



Okay, so after posting this, I was trying to read a little of the Bible. It's hard to know where/what to read right now in the hospital. I have to go with time-wise stuff, so I've been sticking to the psalms a lot. Tonight was the 27th, so I turned to Psalm 27. I gotta share it. Forgive the lengthy post. Most of the emphasis in this is my own, so if things are all caps or italicized or whatever, I am inserting that of my own volition.

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the defense of my life; whom shall I dread? When evildoers came upon me to devour my flesh, my adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell. Though a host encamp against me, my heart will NOT fear; though war arise against me, in spite of this, I SHALL be confident. One thing I have asked from the Lord, THAT I shall seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to meditate in His temple. For in the day of trouble, He WILL conceal me in His tabernacle; in the secret place of His tent He WILL hide me; He WILL lift me up on a rock. And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me, and I will offer in His tent sacrifices with shouts of JOY; I will sing, YES, I WILL sing praises to the Lord. Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice, and be gracious to me and answer me. When You said, "Seek My face," my heart said to you, "Your face, O Lord, I shall seek." Do not hide Your face from me, do not turn Your servant away in anger; YOU have been my help; do not abandon me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation! For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me up. Teach me Your way, O Lord, and lead me in a level path because of my foes. Do not deliver me over to the desire of my adversaries, for false witnesses have risen against me, and such as breathe out violence. I WOULD HAVE DESPAIRED unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; YES, wait for the Lord.

mmmmm...good stuff.

3 comments:

Amy <>< said...

You have no idea how loudly God is speaking through you...even when sometimes its difficult to hear him speaking to you. Have you taken a look at your counter lately? You're up to almost 13,000 hits. This blog is such an amazing ministry. I know that your gut honest words speak to me so deeply. I know that I am not the only one. Keep it up girl. God hears and I believe that He is watching you go through this and is proud of you. I know I am :)

Anonymous said...

I pray that you feel God near you, Ridge, Sawyer, and Brandon tonight. My God shall supply ALL of my NEEDS, according to his riches and glory by Christ Jesus.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you even in the monotony and useless inconveniences when you just want to be home with your family. Carla Goldmann FBC Weatherford

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