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wife. mom. adjunct professor. we homeschool. i'm a little bit OCD. i love math. bright colors and geometric designs make me drool. we live with a medical rarity, and Jesus saved his life. through that, Jesus is changing us. The american dream and status quo is overrated...and sometimes just plain wrong. our lives, our family, our careers, our faith are all now filtered through a new lens-- thank you Jesus. welcome to our crazy. feel free to take some of it with you, we have plenty to go around.
It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it.
-- Lena Horne


The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.-- Jesus Christ

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

we'd rather have black.

Ridge has not been allowed to eat for almost 24 hours.  This always makes his bleeding worse.  This is also supposed to help the other problem we are facing- the pneumatosis.  This morning, the diaper wasn't black. It was maroon.  This is getting to be ridiculous.  I have been asking God to remind me that he is right here, with us, even closer to this than we are.  I know this is true.  I know he can see what is going on in Ridge better than any doctor or mommy or x ray.  I need him to fix what is going on in Ridge.  I need him to do that.  I feel so lost because it seems that a lot of what they can do to treat the MLT bleeding right now will work against the pneumatosis, which has a far worse outcome than the MLT seems to have.  Not feeding him is going to hopefully help the pneumatosis, but probably not if it is making him bleed more bc to me that seems it would be more irritating to the bowel.  I don't know. I don't know anything about any of this it seems and it is so frustrating.  Why in the heck do we have to have this OTHER stuff going on?  Really?  That just seems so ridiculous and .... pointless.  I know it isn't.  But i'm just sick of everything.  I desperately- we desperately need the Lord to let us know he is with us today.  I dont know or care how he shows us that- I just know we need to be reminded of that in an undeniable way.  Pray for that. Pray for Ridge.  Pray that God would be glorified- I don't even know what that means in this situation, but I know that is the main objective in all things.  I believe that.  Of course, what I want the most is for Ridge to be all better.  So of course, that is what I beg you to pray.  But I know that even that is not the most important part of this situation.  So all I can ask is that you pray- for whatever you feel led to pray.  I don't even know what else to write, so  I will stop.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Alisha, last night on the way home and even before I talked with Cindy I was reminded of a verse that encouraged me in a great way. I was alone in Austria in 1972 and needed to hear from God. I was reading in the Psalms that day and in Ps. 94:19 (Living Bible paraphrase) it says, "Lord, when doubts fill my mind and when my heart is in turmoil, quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer." I was reminded of that last night even before I knew I needed. Also on the way to work God put the old gospel song "His Eye Is On the Sparrow" in my heart. It reminds us of God's control in all situations. Take today and live it and thank God for it. I will see you this afternoon. Love you. Dad

ChrisCopelandPhoto said...

I don't even know what to say. I am so moved by your words and the words of your earthly father. We love you and will continue to pray without ceasing.

Chris, Julie, Carsten and Michael

Anonymous said...

Cary Family,

I do not know you personally, but wanted to let you know that I am praying for Ridge to be healed. God Bless Baby Ridge!

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