we'd rather have black.

Ridge has not been allowed to eat for almost 24 hours.  This always makes his bleeding worse.  This is also supposed to help the other problem we are facing- the pneumatosis.  This morning, the diaper wasn't black. It was maroon.  This is getting to be ridiculous.  I have been asking God to remind me that he is right here, with us, even closer to this than we are.  I know this is true.  I know he can see what is going on in Ridge better than any doctor or mommy or x ray.  I need him to fix what is going on in Ridge.  I need him to do that.  I feel so lost because it seems that a lot of what they can do to treat the MLT bleeding right now will work against the pneumatosis, which has a far worse outcome than the MLT seems to have.  Not feeding him is going to hopefully help the pneumatosis, but probably not if it is making him bleed more bc to me that seems it would be more irritating to the bowel.  I don't know. I don't know anything about any of this it seems and it is so frustrating.  Why in the heck do we have to have this OTHER stuff going on?  Really?  That just seems so ridiculous and .... pointless.  I know it isn't.  But i'm just sick of everything.  I desperately- we desperately need the Lord to let us know he is with us today.  I dont know or care how he shows us that- I just know we need to be reminded of that in an undeniable way.  Pray for that. Pray for Ridge.  Pray that God would be glorified- I don't even know what that means in this situation, but I know that is the main objective in all things.  I believe that.  Of course, what I want the most is for Ridge to be all better.  So of course, that is what I beg you to pray.  But I know that even that is not the most important part of this situation.  So all I can ask is that you pray- for whatever you feel led to pray.  I don't even know what else to write, so  I will stop.