Not Me! Monday-- three hilarious surprises.

can i please start off saying that i am NOT having to retype this bc blogger had some failure with my posting it? so disappointed bc it probably won't be as funny the second time around.





 


before i begin, if you missed my last post with the video of Ridge getting his blood checked and his octreotide changed, you can find it here-- i'd been promising it, so i want to make sure you see it if you want to.

Okay, so there are some seriously funny things that did NOT happen around here this last week.  But first, credit to MckMama for starting the tradition of Not Me!'s....if you want to read some more, head on over here. (REVISION: mucho apologies for a non working link! how annoying! i don't know what the deal was, but NOW the link works).

All right.

The first thing I have to share is how last night, after working fast and furious on some of these:

i did NOT decide, at like 11:00 when my baby was NOT awake and NOT just jibberjabbering away, that I wanted to sneak some girl scout tagalongs as a little bedtime snack.  when i was NOT doing this, i did NOT find that someone had already, earlier, beaten me to the snacking. this was not made obvious by the evidence seen here:

in case you aren't seeing what kept me laughing for several minutes last night, that sock monkey doesn't usually reside in our pantry. though he is still in that same spot.  the tagalongs, however, are not.  i'm not saying where SOME of them went.

The same person who did NOT leave that sock monkey in our pantry also did NOT try to be a helper by super sanitizing/power cleaning/hotter-than-bon-jovi heat dry the dishes in the dishwasher (by NOT pushing ALL the buttons)....and upon NOT doing any of that that same three year old someone did NOT invent this by accident:

the baby spork. 

won't be washing THOSE spoons in the dishwasher again.  bdawg was quick to point out the pink spoons escaped unscathed.  while the only blue one....well, it's no good.

and finally, the last thing i did NOT do just this morning...warning: if you are uncomfortable with the topic of breastfeeding, the rest of this post is sooooo not for you.  don't say i didn't warn you!

this morning, as i got ready in my cute new blue flats....and my cute little mustard colored cardigan, and my cute necklace i got last year for my birthday....i did NOT forget anything. i was (seriously) ready on time for our first consult with the hematologist.  and with all my togetherness, i totally would neverrrrrrrrrr forget something.  and if, on the off chance i did, i would realize so when leaving my driveway, NOT upon arrival to the parking garage of the hospital.  and because i have breastfed one baby for a year and this baby for almost a year, i would never ever ever have the item i forgot be.....

breastpads.

maybe some of you don't need them. i do.  maybe you don't know what they are- suffice it to say, leaks happen.

and i would ALWAYS be so prepared that i would have backup breastpads in the car....so that if i were to look in the breastpump bag emergency bag or the diaper bag or the console or the glove box or the pockets on the seats, i would NOT have come up empty handed.  at which point, i would not have decided to just pump a bottle while still in the car to avoid the risk of leakage for the entire hospital to see...and while doing so, i would not have (seriously at this point) worried about anyone in the parking garage or walkway in front of it seeing me, and i definitely would NOT have used a diaper as a breastpad during all this process.  upon feeling rushed and not being very successful with any of the above, i had a eureka moment.  at this point, i asked bdawg to go get two of THESE from the back of the car....and then, i did NOT use the two of THESE as breastpads.

yes. lavender scented. yesssss.  i'm really, for reals, NOT kidding. i'm not.

and i'm also not kidding when i say...

they worked.

hope you had a laugh on me.