Just a couple....

Well, idk about you, but I am growing used to, and quite fond of, the yellow and grey here on the blog.  I think we will keep it awhile.

And I hope your jaw isn't totally on the floor dropped in awe of the fact i'm posting AGAIN...twice in one week.

I don't have anything fantastico to post about.  Just a couple photos and musings...

First of all, I'm still crazy about deals and couponing.  We needed some milk anyway the other day, so running to CVS where it was only $2.99 wasn't an unreasonable request in this household. BUT I got up fast and headed over there pronto when I heard about these hair straighteners!  Don't get too fired up, they are probably all gone by now...but maybe not?? These straighteners (of which, admittedly, I need neither) are regular $30-$35ish.  They are on unmarked clearance for 75% off (so around $7-$8).  PLUS last week at CVS if you bought a conair product, you got a $5 printout (called an Extra Care Buck-- it's like credit to spend at CVS).  So if $7ish wasn't good enough on those straighteners, it was really like I paid $7, got $5 back, so one miiiight say I got them for $2.  So that's insane. I paid around $19 total for these 3 items and got back $10 in Extra Care Bucks (ECBs).  I'd say not too shabby (kinda like spending $9 for all of that).  I love love love shopping this way- we get so much, for so little!

What else... I made some coasters.  And a cute minnie mouse pillowcase dress for a big sister/little sister duo....

And... my kids are really cute.

And...Brandon's sister got married, Ridge was enamored with the idea of her wedding dress, and then he spilled water all over his wedding attire and got to boogie down semi-naked style.

He also loved the cake at the rehearsal dinner (and at the wedding...and any cake, anytime, anywhere...)....cousin Noah didn't waste time putting away the grub, either....and then they all posed on the steps for a picture (okay that was before the cake...because after the cake, Ridge looked like the ABOVE picture as well)

Aren't they all so cute?  Yes. Yes they are.


So there were a couple photos. :) Just a couple.

And here is a musing for you, if you will.  I've been reading Steven Furtick's book "Sun Stand Still" for...like...forever.  I'm a horrible reader since I have kids...no excuse or anything, I just mean I don't take/make time to read enough now that I have children. I seriously have been reading this book for probably...oh...6 months?  AWFUL of me!  But it's really good.  And I only have like 5 more pages.  Or 10.  Or is it chapters?  no no no-- pages. :)

Here is my most recent favorite excerpt:
"If all God wanted to do was get right to the happy ending, you'd be in heaven by now.  If his only intention were to make your dreams come true, he'd snap his fingers and your vision would appear out of thin air.  But that's not all God wants.  And deep down, it's not really all you want either.  You want to learn to walk by faith, not by sight.  And you can't learn that without walking through periods of complete darkness.  The apprehension and gut-level fear you'll feel in these stages may make you turn back and pursue something safer....Or you can opt for something better.  You can embrace the process with audacious faith.  Because every big dream has small beginnings.  Between the promise and the payoff, there's always a process. And that process is a breeding ground of faith.  That process has the potential to draw you closer to Jesus than you've ever been before.......The.Process.Is.The.Point."-- Steven Furtick (except I added some emphasis right there at the end...I think my process allows me that creative entitlement).

So. Yeah. Do I even need to say anything else? No. But because by now you obviously know I can blab my mouth forever, I will.  We've gone through quite a process.  So have many, if not all of you. Sure our stories are different.  But Bdawg and I were talking the other night on the way to my mom and dad's for dinner (to which my oldest child said, "Golly you guys have talked the WHOLE way here.  Can you just STOP talking?"-- you know, because we get to have a conversation so often and all. :)  Anyway, we were talking about how weird it is now.  How a year ago, our life was totally different, and how we still feel like we are on rubber legs.  I said I don't know if things ever will really feel normal again. I don't know if they ever CAN.  I have NO idea how we would EVER go back to the dark time we have lived through.  I don't know if I could make it.  I don't know if I could do it again. Although, deep down, I know you are always given the grace to withstand much more than you think you can.  But while dark times (can) cause us to question God, pray with a vengeance, be angry, be afraid, rise up in faith, cry until we literally have no tears it seems....they often are exited with a new sense of calm.  A new sense of purpose.  And while your faith may be strengthened, and your awe of the hand of God may be new and just too big for you to wrap your brain around....you may also still feel afraid.  And still question why.  and still have shaky legs because what was normal before can never even BE again because of what HAS been SINCE then.  You have been shaped.  You have been held.  You have been loved.  But you have also been scarred.  And scars don't just disappear...they are reminders of the discomfort we have felt at one time.  Like the scar on my knee- I know it's from throwing a fit and rolling over onto the scissors in fourth grade when my mom wouldn't help me on a project bc I was being a brat.  And the scar on my chin, I got that one from being an idiot and twisting my bike's handlebars back and forth and i fell right onto the asphalt road....my sister had all the courtesy in the world to just laugh at me, and all i was worried about was if I looked ugly or not.  I remember all the blood and i remember seeing the stitches' thread being pulled/laced whatever through my chin....i remember busting the stitches open again on the playground, but thankfully no major catastrophe resulted from that.  I have a scar on my ankle from being out at the farm with my Nana...she told me to crawl through this barbed wire fence, and I said I couldn't fit...she did it, so she assumed I could. I'm not athletic or coordinated in the least sense of the word.  So, I ripped open my ankle on the wire.  She said it'd be fine.  And it was, but there was a lot of blood and there's a nice big ol' scar there now.  Stretchmarks.  Reminders of the lives that have lived inside of me, and the pieces of my heart that now walk around my house every day.  Scars.  They are reminders.  They are tough.  They can be ugly.  But they are earned.  Accidentally, sometimes with no warning.  Sometimes they aren't fair. And sometimes they hurt.  And even if it's just a little scar on a finger from where the cat scratched you at one time, it's still a scar...it tells a story...and it leaves your body different than it was before that incident.  Scars.  We definitely earned a few in this household over the last couple of years.  And I think that they have changed us.  And that's okay.  We can't be the same.  What was normal, will never be normal to us again.  I don't even REMEMBER what our life was like when things were "normal."  I didn't know that'd ever be gone from us.  But it is.  And I guess I thought we'd always get it back one day...but we won't.  Because even if on the surface everything were identical- if I were back to full time work, if my kids were in school/daycare...if Ridge never needed blood and could take antibiotics when he was sick, etc....even if we had EVERYTHING we had before, we still have these scars from the road we've been on.  And that changes your perspective.  Some things matter more now, and some things matter so much less.

Scars....we all have them.  At least a couple.  They are there for a reason...whether we choose to remember the story they tell and do something about it or ignore them and try to live in spite of them...well, that's our decision.  For me, they are too deep to ignore.  I know we will adjust to a normal again, but it won't ever be like before.  And that's okay.  Because the process...that same process that gives you those scars...it's the point.

what? WHAAAAT?!?!?! yes. it's fine.

Howdy, world. 

First thing's first.  I wanted to change the background of the blog. Somehow, when messing with all that, I messed some stuff up. So welcome to the new view-- I hope you like it and can navigate okay, because I'm way too exhausted to try to figure out exaaaaactly how to put it back the way it was.  It's pretty close, though, so most of you should be fine. :) 

Any of you more tech savvy people out there know much about tumblr?  I have half a mind to switch over to blogging that way, since I have this account and I'm semi-hooked on pinterest....am I speaking english?  To some of you, no.  :) That's okay too.  But I only have half a mind to switch because I don't understand how it works with the other half of my mind.  So...geniuses who read this- inform me, please.


What else, what else...oh, I know.  Two new things.  If my eyes stay open long enough to type them (and it's only 2:50 PM...but lately, I find myself getting up around 7 or 730 AM one day, but not going to bed until around 1am, which puts me already into the next day.  I need to get more sleep_....ANYWAY.

1. I start my new job Monday!   I will be teaching night classes at OCCC (and a Saturday class because I'm sort of insane).  I am really excited. The math department is so nice-- meaning the people...but the department itself/it's features are also incredibly nice!  I am super excited.  The enrollment is incredibly high and over half of their classes, especially the math classes at the level I will be teaching, are covered by adjunct professors.  We had new adjunct training this week and the VP of Academic Affairs was fantastic and letting us know how appreciated the adjunct faculty is.  Anyway, it didn't take long for me to realize I was in a very, very good place!  I have met both of my partners (we team teach the courses I am working in....goes a little something like this: each class session, we have FOUR small classes: a large group, a computer lab time, a small group, and another large group session. In large groups, lectures are given.  I will lecture sometimes -- I will have my students as well as my partner's students in there.  The times I do not lecture, my partner will.  During small group/computer, I will only have MY students, and we will work on homework and some visual applications to the day's concepts). I am totally excited.  Overwhelmed.  But excited.  Both of my partners are fantastic, and are going to be wonderful to work with.

2. I bought school supplies.  And a backpack.  And new clothes. For my 5 year old. To go to Kindergarten.  We were all geared up for it.  Or at least prepared.  But neither Brandon or I felt right about it.  Not because we think school is bad or wrong or whatever, because that's asinine.  And not because we aren't ready for S to be a big kid- although who is ready for that kind of stuff?  But that had nothing to do with it...because he's a big kid no matter where I put him.  But something just wasn't right about it. And you can't just ignore those promptings in  your spirit.  So we piddled around about whether we were just going to go ahead and send him to school, where we knew he'd learn a lot and have fun and do just fine (even though he does know all of the math and reading/writing PASS skills already)....or if we'd just keep him home, and reinforce what we learned last year, as well as throw in the social studies/science/music/PE (if you know me, you are probably laughing at that one)/health and safety type subject areas.  I'm not a procrastinator.  But it wasn't until the day before school started that we actually decided to keep Sawyer home.  Which meant, I had all my resources from LAST year, but zero for THIS year.  So...we loaded up and went to Mardel and bought what we could decide on for sure, and I ordered the rest on line. So initially we will be winging it.  More details in a bit, but let's all stop and take a knee for a second. :)  Here's what you can pray for us this year, if you want something to pray for us about other than Ridge (please, keep praying for him! He's doing fantastic!) Pray that I will remember that even though Sawyer is just like me, he is also just like his dad.  He would rather learn by being told and just sit there and read/write/reproduce something (ME) than by having fun/playing a game/etc. (BDAWG).  This sounds fabulous, because I can easily find papers to go over/help him do...but as a teacher, I want to DO activities with him, and his brain isn't geared as much that way as his daddy's is. HOWEVER.  He....knows....how.....to.....taaaaaaaaake.....hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis......sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.....tiiiiiiime.  No rushing that kid.  What should take a few minutes, takes 30 minutes.  He just isn't in a hurry.  THAT is his daddy...it'll get done when it gets done.  And I can appreciate that attitude, it is the total opposite of me.  But it makes it difficult trying to accomplish daily goals in school if you want to take forever on a short project.  And I'm a finisher. I always have too many irons in the fire. It's just how I am.  So anyway, project meet in the middle (except really I will walk farther...willingly) is underway.


I have oodles of things I want to say about this decision to homeschool, because I know what some people say (or don't) and think about people who decide to school from home.  But I will just keep it at this: this is what we-- BDawg and myself-- felt right about.  I didn't want to send my child to school just because culturally that is what we "do" when they are 5 years old.  That's a stupid reason to do something.  What started out as a "have to" in our brains because of avoiding illness (which we still would like to do) has grown into a "want to."  I'm home anyway.  My child is my responsibility.  If I were working, I wouldn't even think about this as an option- I'd send him straight to Kindergarten because that's what people do.  But I have time and freedom to sit back and think about what do we really want to do?  Do I want to commit to this? Because it IS a commitment.  I am responsible for making sure my child learns as much (and even MORE than) what he'd learn in public school (and we have FANTASTIC public schools.  please do not misconstrue what I am saying...this is a FAN of public schools here).  I have to read over the PASS skills. I have to make sure I have all the curriculum/resources/activities I need. I have to be the one to make sure my child is interacting with others (he will be- at church. at birthday parties. at regularly scheduled homeschool craft times at Chick Fil A).  Keeping him home isn't a ticket to just not have to take him to school, or to have a helper around the house.  It is a responsibility that I never knew I wanted.  And it is not easy for me.  It is a challenge.  It is going to take practice.  My laundry room is going to become my best friend for awhile-- it is where I go to breathe some big time prayers when coloring an elephant's trunk takes S as long as it would take me to prove the Theory of Relativity (ok...exaggeration...yes).  But we will get over the initial newness and have a terrific year, if I have anything to do with  it.   And I will.
So that's a teeeeeeny glimpse of our brains at work-- I'm sure I'll share more at another time.  Because you asked, and all. :)

Hope all of those who started a new school year-- teachers/students/administrators/parents of little ones who just started school-- are enjoying it so far (or I hope you DO enjoy it if you're lucky enough to still be enjoying a bit of summer break!). 

Here's to learning something new. Everyday.   And living a life abundant. Everyday.  And freedom in Christ. Everyday.  Cheers!

everything's late.

I haven't blogged in like two months! Terrible, terrible.  So I'm late on the blogging front.  Two years after Ridge was born (i.e. this summer) we took a vacation to Dallas (we didn't want to venture toooooo far yet).  So that was late-- only because other circumstances prevented us from vacationing.  I can't seem to get anything accomplished around the house or anywhere else, so that's ALL late. 

So I had to start somewhere.  First we went on the vacation. Now I'll get a blog post finished.  Then I can feel like I'm a super accomplished rockstar human being.

Okay. Dallas was super fun. We started out our trip with a stop over at Turner Falls to split the driving up just a bit.






From there, we headed to the Great Wolf Lodge, where fun was had by all of us!

 

From the GWL we headed to another hotel after two days/one night there ($$$!!!!)

At that hotel, the boys enjoyed snuggling in the same bed with their new GWL stuffed animals...chasing each other up and down the hall....and from there, we left for a day of shopping at Grapevine Mills  (including lunch at the Rainforest Cafe), followed by a day of shopping at Cabelas and an evening of a Rangers game where not only did they win, but the boys (all 3 of them!) were able to get an autograph from the Rangers coach.  It was fun. And hot.
 

On our last day in Dallas, we met dear friends for lunch and a good time was had by all (including our  bellies!)

The end!  We had a great trip, the boys did well, and it was so wonderful feeling like we could go and do those things-- we have not been able to, or felt able to, in two years!


And in addition to all of that-- five weeks ago, Ridge had a lab, his hgb was good: 11.5.  Two weeks later, it was even better (no transfusion) 11.8.  This week, he hasn't had a lab, but I checked his hemoglobin-- 12.7!!!  We are so thankful that he is continuing to do so well (even if he is covered in a nasty rash bc he's had Fifth's Disease...again.  and even if he is fighting an awful lot with his brother, which is why I will  be saying TTYL for now!)

Everyone have a great day!

half a decade

Five years ago tomorrow, our world completely changed.  You don't think having a baby will be that big of a deal- I mean, you KNOW it's a big deal, but going from a couple to a couple with a baby doesn't really seem like that big of a transition- everyone does it.  I don't remember anyone telling me to savor those moments before kids got here-- not because the moments after kids are bad, but because they are different, and one on one time for even just a conversation with your spouse becomes sort of....rare.  I don't know if I would've listened to them anyway, even if someone had told me that.  Because you just aren't expecting the change that comes your way.    But I'm lovin those people who take those "Babymoon"s because THAT is the way to go...send out your last bit of time as just the two of you in styyyyle.  Anyway, five years ago, after three years of marriage (almost), our duo became a trio when Sawyer Miles was born.

I wasn't really progressing any in labor, and Sawyer was kind of large it seemed, and since it was my first baby and we weren't sure how labor would go, we went in a year ago tonight and began paperwork and some preliminary stuff for an induction.  The nurse was generous to say I was dilated to even a 1/2 cm, bc I was not budging at all.  The medication they gave me that night caused contractions, so I was taken off of it, and just slept the night in the hospital. The morning of June 9th, we began the induction, and for all the gripe some people have about it, mine was perfect.  I got my epidural early, I was progressing okay but not super rapidly, so the doctor broke my water, things started to move super quickly, the doctor came in just as I was about to have to push.  And then, one or two pushes later, we had an 8 lb 14 oz baby boy.  I don't like it when people say babies are perfect, bc really no one is, and it kinda tears at my heart a bit because if some babies are called perfect, that means some are thought to be imperfect, and having a child that some of the world views as "broken" is not something I like knowing about first hand...so I will not say Sawyer was perfect-- but he was spectacular...he was splendid....he was gorgeous....and he was fat...that's for sure.  It was love at first sight.  We went home a few days later and began our life as 3.  Sawyer was a pretty good baby, slept okay, nursed like a champ, wasn't really fussy very often at all.  And as he grew, he had the hugest, bluest eyes.  What a charmer, that kid.

Fast forward a few years later...skipping over the milestones like first teeth, first haircut, first word (okay, we shouldn't skip that one- his first word was NO.  I knew a strong willed child was in our future from that moment on), first time to eat an enchilada out of the trash, first time to unroll all the toilet paper and shove it all  in the toilet, first time to mess up people's names (Garret=A-yo, Binet'= Mae, Grammy=Gibby and that one stuck), cute ramblings (goggygoggygoggy was some of our first consistent talking, whatever it meant)...all kinds of firsts.  Now we are about to have a 5 year old.  And in celebration of all things Sawyer, here is my birthday letter to him.

Dear Sawyer:
Before you were born, I knew I loved you. I just didn't know how much.  I guess I still don't know how much.  You melted my heart as soon as I set eyes on you--I knew for nine months you were coming, but I couldn't fathom that moment of them laying you on my chest-- me actually meeting you, face to face, a real live little tiny human being!  Oh how proud your daddy and I were (and are!) of you.  Most definitely you were one of the cutest babies ever, and how blessed we are to have been chosen to be your parents!  I can guarantee no one has made us laugh as much as you have-- you say the funniest things.  You are also so caring and loving towards your brother, and usually towards your dad and I :).  I am so proud of how you help take care of Ridge and how you love on him every day.  You are also a great helper-- you usually do what you are asked and are now big enough to help with chores around the house.  I appreciate your willing heart.  You have a questioning spirit right now-- you want to know things that I don't always have the answer to...you take things very literally even when they aren't meant that way-- it is innocent, it is funny, and it is one of the things I love about you!  The last two years of your life have been difficult, not by your own choosing.  When I look at your brother, I realize that when he was born, you were only about 8 or 9 months older than he is today.  I can't believe that time flies that quickly, even in adversity.  I can't believe you were that small when so much heaviness hit our hearts.  I am so thankful that things are better now.  I am thankful that you were young enough that hopefully most of this will be a distant memory soon, if even that.  There truly are no words to say for how much we love you-- you are our firstborn, you completely changed our lives-- you changed our priorities, you brought us more love and laughter, you taught us how to operate on less sleep, you brightened our lives in a way we could never have expected.  You are by far one of God's greatest blessings in our life.  I am so proud of you for being a strong learner-- willing to ask questions, being able to read and spell and add and memorize.  I am proud of you for being a helper. I am proud of you for being a friend to your brother.  I am proud of you for learning to ride your bike! and learning to make your bed!!!  You are such a fun friend to have, and your loyalty runs deep.  You come by your independence honestly, and that is a quality I am okay with.  I pray you will always be willing to learn, that you will stick to what you know is right, that you will always be compassionate and a friend to those in need of one, and that you will be willing to be molded into the person God has created you to be. I know you are destined for greatness, and I can not wait to continue watching you grow.  I love you with all my heart, my handsome blue eyed boy!

Shout out for NOT getting sick! The best defense....

Okay so I have to share this for those of you who have not heard of it-- which is probably most of you, because I JUST learned about it and I'm a germaphobe!

Knowing the parents that read this blog, as well as many of the teachers that do so, I think this is a noteworthy short post.

Recently, randomly, by chance or some act of God :), I discovered Prefense.  I will disclaim here-- I'm not being paid, at all, to write this.  There is a small chance I might win some hand sanitizing wipes, but I'm bankin that my odds aren't great there- I'm really just sharing bc I think it's worth sharing!

So what is Prefense?  Basically, short version-- it is a silica based hand sanitizing foam product available in a 640 pump bottle or a 120 pump bottle, and now, also hand sanitizing wipes!  What does it do?  It creates a germ busting barrier on your skin that lasts for up to 24 hours or up to 10 hand washings/sanitizings.  This means you only use it once a day.  It is all natural and non toxic should your kids, um, eat it.  Because you only apply it once daily, I would have to assume it does not crack the skin as badly as repeatedly using alcohol based sanitizers (which is what I have used till now....I just got my shipment of Prefense products, which I ordered from their online store, http://www.prefense.com/products/, a week or so ago.  Because it is non-toxic, if you so choose, you can also apply it to the nose/mouth areas for 24 hour protection of germs there....

Price wise, I am a tightwad, so it was a bit of a stretch for me to purchase until I did the math.  A small bottle of it (very small...but lasts 120 pumps) is around $7.  In our family, we easily go through an economy size of alcohol based sanitizer in a month.  This varies from $4.50-$7 depending on where I'm shopping for it.  And that lasts 3 of us a month- B is always at work, so he uses sanitizer there.  Prefense would last all four of us a month, bc one pump a day is enough to last ALL day.  So it doesn't cost any more.  The 640 pump bottle is $17.  If we do the math as 120 pumps lasts 1 month, 640 would last a little over 5 months, right?  Which means you are spending about $3.50 per month, actually a little less I believe.  That's cheaper than alcohol based sanitizers.  Prefense breaks it down to about 6 cents a day.  You use it once a day....versus 10+ times a day for alcohol based sanitizers to be effective.

So we are totally giving it a try!  Their new hand sanitizing wipes are available at their online store, and soon will be available at their Amazon store.

I think this is totally worth a shout out- for anyone whose kids go to daycare, school, the nursery at church, mother's day out, um, even restaurants, the zoo, etc etc.  And if I were still in the classroom full time, I would totally have a bottle of it on my desk, or even one of their large wall units in my room!  If I can give my students clean hands like this ALL day long, they won't get sick as often, they won't miss as much class, and if they aren't sick, the odds of ME getting sick is smaller.  I do not see a downside to this product at all!  And remember, I'm totally not getting paid to say this- I really believe it is worth a try!

The best defense...is a strong Prefense.  (Their words, not mine! But I believe it!)

advice and dis-advice :)

While I wait on the boys to fall asleep so B Dawg and I can find a late night movie to rent on TV...I thought I'd blab a little.

Today has been delightfully uneventful...picked a few things from the garden. The boys played in their new little swimming pool.  I mopped my kitchen floor with my homemade concoction (no...not bleach and ammonia...i'm smart, remember!) and homemade swiffer pads... :)  And now I'm sitting here just waiting to veg out on the couch and watch a movie.  I'm a go-getter.  Idle hands I do not have.  So I don't take nights like this very often, and when I do, I eat all the snacks I can find and stay up as late as my eyes will stay open.

I have a lot of friends who are new moms...or moms going through things for the first time (of which I am one, since my 4 almost 5 year old is new territory every day- never raised one of those before...) and I have seen a lot of questions lately, or musings by other experienced moms or mommy blogs or whatever whatever about advice needed now, or advice you wish you would've had- or wouldn't have had... so I thought I'd compile a list here--- hopefully you will nod in agreement, or shake your head in dismay, or laugh, or whatever.  And when you're all finished reading this little diddy, you can leave a comment if you have one.  I mean, you know, if it's nice.  Because we all received that advice at one point-- if you can't say something nice.... :)

So. advice, musings, regrets, mistakes, whatever this list becomes, here it is.

1. Your offspring WILL poop in the bathtub.  Maybe not as a baby, or maybe so...but it will happen. Brace yourself. Get some latex gloves or an aquarium net...and keep some bathroom cleaner under your sink.
2. child-proof cabinet things are annoying. But if you don't have them, because they are annoying, the removal of all your cabinets' items becomes even more annoying.  In addition, everyone who comes to your house who does not have children or is not familiar with such new-fangledness as child proof latches will become incredibly frustrated trying to open your kitchen cabinet to get to the trash.  I mean, why do you need a latch on the trash cabinet?  It's not like your 1 year old is gonna open the cabinet and eat an enchilada out of the trash.
3. your one year old could possibly eat an enchilada out of the trash.  mine did.
4. You will get frustrated. You don't think you will. You might even judge those moms who do.  But you will get frustrated at some time.  I mean, you're the most awesomest person around, so you will probably hold your frustration in supremely and never yell or cry or just need to shut yourself in the laundry room with a box of zebra cakes while Jr. cries it out....but you will still get frustrated. gracefully.  or maybe not so gracefully.  that's okay.  it's super okay because if you are AWARE that you will get frustrated, YOU can lay baby down or put child in room with some toy, and step away, even if you are letting said child cry it out...because when you do get frustrated, it is good to know when you need a break. and those zebra cakes will make you feel sick later, and might even make you get a little fatter, but it's worth it.  just make sure you say grace before you eat each one.
5. you don't know everything. you don't.  you might know a lot of everything by the time you have a second child, but with your first, there is no way you know everything.  neither does everyone else- even if it's your grandmother who birthed 17  children in the same day with no anesthesia.  every mom is different. so is every baby.  so take advice when it's offered, and throw it out the window if it's advice that sucks.
6. sometimes weird advice might be right...for you. even if you don't think it is/will be. like how i read of someone giving their kid goat milk and i thought they were the wackiest people ever until i met someone else who had to give her kid that, and then someone else...and then i realized that even though i'd been giving my kid cow milk like a normal mom, so much better than those weird moms, he had super bad eczema that was always worse the more dairy he ate/drank.  and i had another baby, this one with a lot of medical issues, who would be doing semi-fine when he was breastfed but when it came time to switch him to another form of milk, dairy messed him up inside every time we tried it.  so even though i thought it weird, i gave it a whirl- the goat milk, that is.  and it's worked beautifully in my son.  so even if someone tells you something and you think "that's stupid. she's weird."  you better smack yourself in the mouth, because you might just be wrong, and you might need the weirdos advice one day.
7. you don't have to do what everyone tells you. in fact, don't.  but tuck it away in a file-- figuratively...or literally if you are THAT type-A.  but maybe you might need that goat milk advice.  or maybe you might need to talk to that mom who is educated about vaccines. or maybe that strange sounding website that weird mom at the park told you about might have exactly what you are looking for.  or maybe jane from down the street planned a super cool birthday party on a tight budget and you wanna know where to score those awesome party favors.  don't be afraid to ask, and don't be too rude to listen with an open mind.
8. you are the parent. your baby can't talk. it can cry. it can laugh, sometimes. it can pee, poop, burp, and pass gas with the best of em.  but you gotta know your stuff.  you are the advocate.  i don't just mean you get to do whatever you want, no matter what hippie mom down the road tells you.  i mean, i guess you DO...but i am saying- you call the shots.  this puts a HUGE ball in your court.  you HAVE to know your stuff.  and all that random advice people give you, that's part of your stuff.  no one knows everything. not the lady down the street, not your coworker, not you, and not even your doctor.  so ask questions- especially at the doctor.  don't take the first random thing you are told as gospel truth- if the only thing wrong with your kid is that she has a red dot on her leg, even if the dr told you it was chicken pox, you might not believe the doctor.  if the only thing wrong with your kid is a fever, if the doctor says it's a virus but you think it's something else, you have the right to ask-- you're paying the copay!  you can have the doctor look at the ears...the throat...the whatever. you're the boss.  yeah, you don't have 50 years of medical school under your belt, so you gotta bow the knee a little bit, i mean, they ARE the doctor.  But they aren't God. They aren't psychic. They can't see through flesh.  Just because they SAY something doesn't make it true!  We've been misdiagnosed-- humongously but also on smaller scales. "no it isn't strep throat, it's a virus."  oook.  a week later my kid is still feeling bad, still having fever, tonsils swollen to kingdom come, can't talk normally..."it's just a virus."  3 days later, still no better.  antibiotics given...and within 24 hours, normal child is back. coincidence? maybe.  maybe not.  YOU are the advocate.  love your doctor. give them respect. appreciate the knowledge they have. But don't take it like you're stupid and they're smart.  YOU'RE smart.  and your kid can't tell you what's going on, so BE persistent.  If I could harp on one thing, this would be it!  I can't TELL you how many times I have known something specific is wrong with one of my kids and have been told- not by one doctor, but multiple- that nothing was wrong, or it would pass in a few days, etc....and then a week later, we return to get the diagnosis i suspected in the FIRST place. And I can't even count how many other parents have told me "oh it's just this" and then "just this" becomes something else.  And it isn't the parents' fault. It isn't the doctor's fault. Just be educated. Don't take things at face value JUST bc of someone's degree status.  *disclaimer here- i am NOT anti doctor. I love our doctors. All 23875976387456 of them. i am PRO-parental education and advocacy. And as far as I know, so are ALL of our doctors.  so SPEAK UP, mommas and daddies!  YOU are your child's voice. YOU!
9. Breastfeeding isn't easy. It isn't sunshine and roses and constant cuddles.  It is going from a tiny chested individual to dolly parton with your first baby and figuring out how to get comfortable with that engorgement and figuring out how to work a fandangled contraption called a breastpump...and is that kid latching on right?  WHAT? I can't have ANY milk at all bc it's making my kid's belly hurt (this was my case, with BOTH children).  Heck no, I'm having my ice cream!  And then I'm paying for it being up all night with a baby arching his back in pain. Nope, no dairy for me.  But it is worth every effort you put forth- it is FREE, it IS better for your kids than formula, and unless there is some physical reason or medical reason you CAN NOT do it, it is totally worth the effort. I know there are exceptions to EVERYTHING, so don't take this personally- your situation might be an exception. That's fine. But in the average jane person, breastfeeding does not go splendidly at first.  Baby might latch on, baby might not. You might need some weird nipple shield.  You might have to pump.  Don't listen when people tell you you aren't making enough milk, especially at the very first, when your baby is brand new.  What you ARE making is what that baby needs. I know that's a lot in one paragraph and I didn't even camp out near as much as I want. You find someone who is supportive and knowledgeable about breastfeeding if that's what you choose to do with your baby...find a friend, a LaLeche leader, a Lactation Consultant...and you ask all the questions you can think of. And don't listen to the naysayers.  As with anything new, it is difficult at first. It takes awhile to get used to it, but then it is second nature, even with all the hoops some of us have to jump through.  Promise....I made it 12 months with my first baby and 18 with my second. (again, no one get their panties in a wad- i KNOW there are exceptions).
10. Keep pens and permanent markers out of reach- your couch will either look like a Pollock original or your child will have a Hitler moustache.  And kids are really good at finding stuff, so you know...hide things somewhere super duper good- out of reach...or you know, in those child safety latch cabinets.
11. kids give the best hugs and the sweetest kisses, and if they are your kids, take all that lovin you can get.
12. children draw really funny pictures and if you need a laugh, give your 4 year old a crayon and some paper and tell them to get to work.
13. unless you are wonderwoman (and i know a few who are!)-- your body might never look as good post baby as pre baby.  i know this can seem like an excuse for laziness, but i don't mean it as one.  sure, get up and dance, go to the gym, lift some weights, do some cardio...get in shape- you owe your kids that. so do i.  but you don't have to look like Barbie...remember what usually happens to Barbie anyway- she gets her hair cut off in some awful chop job by a 3 year old.  hot? i think not.
14. sleep when the baby sleeps.   work fast and furiously when the baby sleeps. sleep when the baby sleeps. or don't. do what you have to do. if you wake up from a drool producing deep sleep, buried in a pile of laundry you can swear you already folded...well, that's okay too.  babies make you tired.  and they create a lot of laundry.  you know...just do what you gotta do.
15. have fun! you don't have to be june cleaver, and i hope you aren't peg bundy, but YOU are the mom (or dad) God gave to the child He gave YOU.  yes, you're gonna get frustrated.  yes, you're going to mess up sometimes.  make it right when you do that.  make playdoh with your kids sometimes. bake cookies.  let them help.  when you've had too much, go out for a night with a friend- THAT is important and FAR too many people are unsupportive of stuff like that. You deserve that.  And when you come home and find your prince(s) or princess(es) tucked in bed, fast asleep, kiss them on their sweet foreheads and breathe in that life, that youth, that innocence, that is just beaming out of them!

movie time. I could keep going, but I'll give you a turn!!!

terribly busy, no blogging, thoughts, ramblings...

Well, considering the blogging front is dwindling at my fingertips (my blogging front, anyway), I figured it was time for some updates.  Thankfully, there isn't a lot to report!  We are still doing well- Ridge has been transfusion free for the past 9 and a half weeks-- holla! He's the sweetest boy around, kissing everything in sight-- momma, daddy, brother, the dishwasher, the bathtub, you know, just whatever.  It's hilarious. He is sort of learning to run, which is quite funny because he throws his arms behind him and then just stomps really rapid-fire.  He has learned to stick out his tongue, so he thinks...but really he is just opening his mouth really big.  It's hilarious. Every single time.

Allergies are kicking our tails right now.  The oldest child is all puffy eyed and congested, while the youngest is all faucet- nosed.  yucko.  But everyone seems to feel okay, which is good, because as an allergy sufferer myself, I know how bad allergies can make one feel at times.

What else is new? Oh, yeah..I have a job!  I will be teaching two developmental math courses in the fall at a local community college!  I am nervous and excited, and so thankful for the opportunity that presented itself through a friend. I totally consider this an open door provided by the Lord.  So...it's new, it's scary, but I think i'm really going to like it-- it won't change our schedule much at all, and I will get to be back in a classroom.

Other than that, no big news to report here.  In light of the new job, I have really been thinking back on the last two years and how much the Lord has done for us.  I mean, two years ago, I had to leave my job because of circumstances.  It was a tough decision but an obvious one.  I didn't have to battle internally over what I would do, I knew what I had to do, even if I didn't want to.  Things got really bad with baby and we were clinging to faith that seemed impossibly small.  And...God came through.  In spite of our small faith.  Because it isn't about us.  And things stayed difficult for kind of a long time.  And things still aren't normal.  But gradually, things got more normal, and they are continuing to become more and more normal.  And I am often reminded of that.  Of the times we have been brought through, of the promises that have been made to us by a faithful and loving God, of the lessons we have learned and are still learning, of the faith that has grown and will continue to grow.  I find it fascinating that even as adults, we don't have to/get to just be "done" with stuff.  Life keeps coming at us, and God isn't finished with us, and lessons are still learned and faith is still tested, and miracles can still happen- in us, through us, around us.  In my own life right now, I am being challenged to realize/recall/remember/learn for the first time, I don't know-- to see that in this one life that we've been given- in this one life that I've been given-- there IS something great that God wants to do not just IN me, but THROUGH me, for others, maybe for just one person, maybe for the world! I don't know.  But I know it's true for all of us who are believers-- just floating around through our life, doing everything like everyone else, blending in...well, that's weird.  That isn't how it's supposed to be!  There are GREAT things in store for us-- we have to seize them!  I am reading a book by Steven Furtick right now that reminds us of having a Joshua like faith.  Before God is going to do a "sun stand still" type of miracle, there will be challenges-- there will be obedience that is tested.  There will be difficult decisions made. THere will be things done that I/you/we may not want to do.  But that doesn't matter.  Because to walk through those things in faith will bring us out on the other side to see the glorious things God has in store for us.  And I don't want to get so caught up in the junk that's around me/us that I miss that.  And I don't think we talk about that kind of stuff enough. I don't think that living our faith is important enough to most of us.  I'm not pointing fingers- well, if I am, I'm pointing some back at me, too, anyway-- I'm just saying, it doesn't seem like faith is an integral part in our life as much as it should be. I don't want faith only when I "need" it.  Because...that isn't faith.  I don't want a genie God-- "what can He do for ME?"  That's stupid.  I don't want a generic God-- "well, I'll be prayin for ya...crossing my fingers too.  God's good!" Then turn around and forget that was ever even said, not give it another thought.  I want THE God.  You know, the one who split the Red Sea, made the sun stand still, created all the earth and space, raised the dead, turned water to wine, died and rose again- THE God.  And I don't like how we say those kind of things and then forget about them.  We shouldn't just want this on Easter, or tomorrow, or 5 times a year, or when things get tough.  Every day. Because He's the same. Every day.  And unfortunately, so are we, a lot of the time.  If I'm gonna be the same every day, I don't want to be the same as everyone else is the same!   I know I'm rambling...sometimes my thoughts go down clearly, other times I'm working them out. I'm still working this out.  How about you?
....

easter and ridge updates...and do coupons really work?

This is going to be a good hodge podge of stuff.  You're welcome.

First off: Ridge.  The line removal was a great success so far...He got to take a bath for the first time in two years! 

He is doing great, and tomorrow it will be 6 weeks since his last blood transfusion.  He has never gone this long without transfusions, without being on steroids.   His labs have been the same for about the last 4 weeks.  We are still super careful about illness and I am still paranoid about it all because I do fear that if he gets sick, we will be back in the hospital.  We haven't been in the hospital since January! Praise Jesus!

Easter this year-- surprisingly, even with us being in the hospital so much one and two years ago, Ridge has always been home to go to church on Easter, every Easter of his life (which is only 3 Easters :) ).  We are not "Christmas/Easter" only church goers by nature-- we love going to our church. We don't get to go as much as we'd love to go, bc I try to keep in the loop as to what kind of sickies are going around and we sometimes just have to avoid public stuff bc of that.  But we went to church- we were late, but we were there!- on Easter. My boys all looked spiffy.

Then, for the first time that I can remember, all four of us went to my mom and dad's for Easter lunch.  My Mamaw was there. We got us a 4 generation picture here, folks:

Ridge doesn't have chiclet teeth- that's a laffy taffy.  And that is, in fact, my dad, and his goatee.


The day before Easter, Ridge turned 2.  He had an Elmo cake. He liked it. 

Good thing he was able to take a bath that night.

He also got to color Easter Eggs with the older child.

All broken Easter eggs were courtesy of the Ridger himself.

So...what else?  Well we made some homemade laundry soap yesterday.  It is "he" friendly and economical to boot.  I buy laundry bar soap online from www.goatmilkstuff.com, but you can buy other brands cheaper at your local grocer (sometimes).  You can pretty much make a batch of this (5 gallons is 2x concentrated, so it actually makes 10 gallons) for around $4!  Recipe here: http://www.duggarfamily.com/recipes.html.  For top loaders, it makes around 200 loads worth, for front loaders, I think it's closer to 700 loads worth. Ridiculous!  I hadn't ever made the liquid, but before we got our "he" machine, I always made the powder and loved it.  Now we have the soap dispenser compartment, so the powder doesn't go through as well. 

And finally, I blogged about couponing a few weeks ago.  If you are friends with me on FB, you know I'm crazy about this hobby....but since some of you who read this probably don't have a FB, or don't know me in real life, or for whatever reason we aren't FB buds, here are some pics:

This was my grocery trip this morning, to Homeland.  Homeland is expensive.  They have great sales, especially if you coupon.  The above cost me about $22 today.  I saved $49.62.  I only bought things that were on sale AND i had coupons for.  (except the eggs and milk)

This is my trip to Walgreen's yesterday.  I spent $3.70.  We usually cloth diaper, but you can't beat $3.70 for all that.  I had coupons, there was a sale on some of it, and I had a Register Reward (it is a receipt that some items give at checkout-- it works like a credit or giftcard towards your next purchase).

This is a trip to United, in my parents' town.  Spent $9.04, Saved a little over $15.  These items were all on sale or clearance, except for the zest and the beans, and I had coupons for everything, except the beans.

This was at Walgreen's in my parents' town. I spent $24 (yuck) and saved $26.

 

This is at CVS.  I spent around $11. I saved about $21 (drugstores are other places that are ridiculous if you don't shop sales and with coupons.  but usually they have rewards bucks back which work like credits towards your next purchase.  nothing in this picture had any extra bucks back, though :) ).

So...yep, for us, couponing has become a way of life, and saves us a ton of money.

two entire years

It's kind of impossible for me to fathom that two years ago, I tucked my at-that-time only child into bed for the last night he could be called an only child.  I guess he never really was an only child, we always knew we'd have more...so I suppose it was the last night I tucked my firstborn into bed as my only son.  Because two years ago, about 6 hours from this moment, BDawg and I trucked it to the hospital, where Ridge was born approximately 6 hours later.  So about 12 hours from now, two years ago, I became a momma for the second time.  To this beautiful creature (photos here courtesy of my talented friend, KZ):

We had no idea what this tiny thing (okay, not so tiny- almost 9 lbs) had in store for us.  Soon we went from all that baby bliss you see above to a whole new ballgame of hospitals, transfusions, unknowns, incredibly uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, disgusting showers, learning a new language, one income, lots of tears, lots more prayers than tears, fear, faith, anger, gratitude, education, advocation (that isn't a word i don't think...).  The "baby" times were sort of stolen away from us.  Oh don't get me wrong, I'm soaking them up now, little boy, even if you are two years old.  You still get to sleep in bed with me, and sometimes I hold you through your entire nap just so I can smell your hair. I know.  Because you scared us there for a while, baby boy.  We didn't know if we'd see you turn 6 months old...but you did.

And after that, you still had some scary days.  And we still lived in the hospital.  You got to come home for your first Christmas, if only for a couple days before having to head back to the hospital for awhile.

You were still on a lot of meds then.  A lot.  Continuous IV infusion of Octreotide, oral steroids, oral carafate, oral prevacid, oral liquid vitamins, oral liquid vit D, oral amicar.  A lot.

   

Time drew closer to your first birthday, which you spent in the hospital.

You didn't care. You didn't really know your house as "home" yet anyway.  So you were plenty happy there.  And sick as a dog.  I never want to go back to those days-- I appreciate them for what they were, and for the lessons God has taught me, but I don't want to ever have to go through them again.  That is a place that I will walk through again only if I must...and only by the grace of God.  After you turned one, just as we were told by the doctors you would, you did start to get some better.  By the time you were 18 mos old, we were starting to be home quite a bit more. You did spend Halloween in the hospital, but only for a few days before and a little of the day of. We got to be home to Trick or Treat.

You got to learn to brush your own teeth, at home...you got to spend your second Christmas, the entire Christmas break!, at home...

And even though you look ridiculous in that picture with the tree- you were so full of joy and delight, and while we missed some of the baby baby things with you, we cherish all the other moments so much more-  when you finally started crawling and had to pull that stupid flipping dumb pump around behind you....you are so strong.  When you started walking, which is something I was afraid you'd never do....When you learned to talk...a little...even now, when you learn a new word...every single word is precious to our ears and we smile and laugh every time you say a new word.  Right now, the night before you turn 2 years old...you can say, "mama, nana, ssss (yes), mo (more), doctor (not this clearly...but the way you say it does not translate appropriately into the written language), elmo" and you can sign "please, thank you, more, no, eat, drink"...we think you have uttered "daddy" and "thank you" but not repeatedly.  you shake your head a lot for "no"...you dance like a crazy person. you love to laugh and squeal.  you are mean.  you hit a lot because you can't fully communicate yet.  you get sent to time out and you cry and cry.  you have pretty much all of your teeth.  this past week was a great big week for you.

you looked like this five days ago:

Today, you look like this:

 

Splashing in the tub, pool, sprinkler with your brother is just around the corner.  That stupid line is out, and while it will kill me inside to hold you down if you need an IV for blood, I have a feeling your blood transfusions in the future are not many. I am not God, and I do not know all things, so if a huge bleed befalls us in the future, we will do what we need to do to save your life.  But for now, you are doing excellently.  You are the bravest soul I know.  You are full of life, life we didn't know if we'd get to see.  Life we will forever be grateful for.  You are a living, breathing example of the grace of God...the hand of God in our lives.  You are a reminder that He watches over us,  protects us, and gives us miracles, even today.  Yes, medicine (of which you are on very little now) has helped to save your life.  Blood transfusion after blood transfusion has, too.  But even with all of that going in your body, there were times we didn't know what to do.  I have seen you, literally, at the door of death more than once- and once is one more time than any parent should live through.  But today, you are here.  You are happy. You are growing. You are full of joy. 

 You are our Ridge.  And tomorrow, you turn two.  An Elmo cake is waiting for you, big boy, and so are a stack of presents.  Happy birthday, to my little chubby miracle.  There are no right words for the love I have for you.