home...again....lots of updates

Well, I better just blog it all now because who knows when I will have another shot at this.

We got home today from a week in the hospital.

Ridge was bleeding. It stopped shortly.  We started the steroids again, probably too hastily.  We won't start them so hastily anymore.

He had a horrendous port infection and possibly a central line infection.  After six days of antibiotics running through both lines, we were allowed to come home.  He will continue to be on the antibiotics for five and a half more days.  This is stressful to me-- because A) his port is accessed at home.  and B) we have to run antibiotics alternately through the port and the central line four times per day.  (9 AM, 3 PM, 9 PM, 3 AM)....This takes an hour each time.  This was not a good enough reason to want to stay in the hospital, but it is a lot of extra stuff at home.  Home health delivered the supplies tonight when we got home.  The bag full of the antibiotics was huge.  We will have to do this 22 times over the next five and a half days.  sheesh. but we are home.

Wednesday is a big day for us.  We will begin an Octreotide wean.  We covet covet covet covet your prayers starting now.  I know most of you pray for Ridge daily.  This is a big time opportunity to please please intercede for him.  We want off of this medicine so badly-- he is on it 24 hours a day through his central line.  If we can come off of it....we can get that line out.  He will be able to walk, crawl, eventually run, and play, without a leash of tubing attached to him.  He will be able to take a BATH!  He has not had a real live tub bath since he was 3 months old.  That is almost a year.  By the time we get off of the meds, it will have been at least a year.  The wean will take 4-8 weeks, if it is successful.  Please please pray like you haven't before for Ridge.  This is huge in his mobility. This is huge in making his life more normal.  There is also some chance that this med is contributing to his smaller stature.  It could also be contributing to some issues we've been told Ridge has-- issues that deserve bathing in prayer.  His spleen has apparently been shrinking.  This is probably due to restricted blood flow.  His spleen is smaller than normal/smaller than it should be.  He needs that spleen to help fight infection.  This is a big deal to me.  Please pray that it IS the octreotide doing this and that we WILL be able to get him OFF of the Octreotide.  This is SO important to us!  We really really are optimistic and hopeful that this wean will be successful.  So please, come alongside us and lift Ridge up in prayer.  Let's get this baby one more step to normal!

Other news.  Monday is a big day for us, too.  Monday marks seven years for the B-Meister and myself.  B Dawg and I have made it through the first seven....which I've been told are the worst.  I can promise you our seventh was our worst.  Our fifth wasn't so great either.  This year has held so many hardships and obstacles because of Ridge.  It has been hard to be a normal family and a normal couple...it has been difficult to find any time to go to dinner together or even just sit and talk about anything other than Ridge.  Our life together has been greatly changed this year, and it is hard to type about.  I know God has a wonderful, unimaginable plan for us.  But it is difficult to remember that when your life seems so upside down.  I can't wait until ridge is off of the Octreotide and we feel like it is easier to get out and leave him with someone.  The central line is binding-- it makes it so difficult to leave him, because it is something we feel like our eyes need to be on 100% of the time.  When I am with Ridge, not a second goes by I am not thinking about that line-- I'm not exaggerating.  It rules our life.  See- I can't even type about our anniversary without coming back to this stuff.  We are ready for the difficult season to pass.  It's going to be a new world in a few years (or less) when Ridge overcomes this disease by the grace of God.

So seven years ago, B Dawg and I got married.  We looked like this:

Young...I know.  Time and life has been rough on us lately.  We've shared great moments- moments like the above.  moments like this:

and this:

 (courtesy Kelly Zoschke photography)

and this...

and this....

and this....

and this.....

and most recently...all the hospital stays.  and while a lot of this year has been more bad than good, here we are.  we've made it.  a promise is a promise-- and forever means forever.  so here we are, celebrating seven years.  hoping that we have seven more and seven more after that and after that...and that the hardest times we will ever face are behind us.  as time ages us, and circumstances rough us up a bit, may our faith remain in our God to hold us in His hands and sustain us in all things.  We may never look like this again:

but the hearts in those young bodies are the same ones that fell in love seven+ years ago....so here's to another seven, baby.

good times and bad...sickness and health...for richer or poorer....

we got this in the bag.

update

sorry it's been over a week since my last post.   things have been busy.

we were in the hosp. monday, got blood, came home. then again on thursday. then on friday, we came back to stay.  ridge began having a massive bleed and we were trying to take care of it low key, but saturday late/sunday early he vomitted and the only times that has happened, things got bad quickly. so we put him back on steroids, and in retrospect wish we'd have waited, but whatever.  anyway, he only vomitted once, and the bleeding had already slowed by the next day. it seems to be subsiding.  however, in the midst of all of that, we found out his port has a major infection, and his central line possibly has an infection as well.  so he is on a lot of IV antibiotics through those lines.  pray the infection is completely obliterated, bc otherwise it could enter his blood stream, and/or cause us to have to remove his line and/or his port.  we don't want to do that.

sawyer's getting in trouble, and waking up the baby, so this post is short. our life is so CRAZY!

take care.

behind us.

today was a first.  and i don't know why the blog is posting in this font. whatever. i'm gonna roll with it. bc i've been doing that today.  (ok, so it isn't posting in the weird font it was typing in...i just noticed that. sorry.)

i don't really know who reads this blog.  but can i just say, i love love love having fellow mommas of kids with MLT that i can talk to?  thanks to my pal kelly for getting some of us together on FB.  what a lifesaver that has been. and i know these women/families and i will forever have a bond, even if one day, this atrocity is...

behind us.


like today. today as we drove home from the hospital ON THE SAME DAY WE WERE ADMITTED (more on that soon!)...i kept thinking...let this be behind us. let it.

i want to scream in joy-- IT IS IT IS IT IS!!! but i know it might not be.  but for today. it is.

so all weekend, ridge had dark stools. but we can check his hemoglobin at home.  and it was above 10. And at 10 or below, we transfuse.  So....we kept him at home, even though we knew he was bleeding.  because at the hospital, all we'd do is sit there and wait for him to hit 10.  so why wait there? why not wait home? so we were brave little parents and did that.  but not without lots of texting/calling/facebook chatting my chiefs of staff, andrea and kelly.

sooo....the one thing we did do this weekend is up ridge's amicar.  bc...that's what kelly and andrea do. :) so we tried it. we didn't ever know to try that before. no, i didn't ask my doctor's permission. i just did it. and it slowed his bleeding. i didn't up it a lot, so it didn't stop the bleeding.  but today, when we went in to the hospital for blood....i came clean with my dirty little secret, and the hematologist thought it was fine, and actually prescribed ridge to be on a higher dose, and told us how far to up it when he bleeds.  so lookie there.  it was a good experience.  when we arrived at the hospital, and found out we'd be staying only...today...i was in shock.  but excited.  so while we are pioneering with that, may as well keep on pioneering.  so we did. we decided why access his port? yes, he has it to get blood.  but we aren't even staying the night. so we will stop his octreotide. for the entire blood transfusion. which we've never ever ever done. so for 3 hours, he didn't receive his continuous med.  and while we were in the itty bitty hospital room, he had two diapers.  the first, while dark dark, was not as dark as yesterday's diaper.  the second diaper, when i was deciding maybe we should stay the night, was even lighter....the Lord knew I needed some push in one way or the other...  so we decided we'd come home. and at our resident's suggestion, we decided not to stay around for a post transfusion lab.  what's the point?  he'll be above 10, so if we spend the night we may as well spend it at home. so that's what we're doing.  taking great strides to get rid of some of the burden of this disease. and today was great.  and we got in our car to drive home...and i couldn't help but think as we drove down the highway....as  the hospital got farther and farther away...that maybe, just maybe, we left some other things back there too.  for good.

at least that's what i'm stickin to tonight.

we try to live day by day. and this day, this day was a reallllly good day.

holy blog post, your retinas are gonna bleed....

wow. lots to cover.  list please, for my sake: lasik, middletons, bday, projects, giveaways

okay, i will just roll with that order.

lasik.  bdawg got his lasik the other day.  yesterday, actually. his post-op appt report: 20/12 vision, really good response for less than 24 hrs after surgery. he's driven, and he's walking around w/o glasses...weird.  i think that whole procedure is just...weird. and amazing. ridge knows it's his daddy but he sure is giving him some strange looks.  sawyer didn't even seem to notice anything.

we are sans one child this weekend bc he went to gibby's.  so it's weird having 3 people instead of 4 in our house.  ridge won't know what to do. 

middletons-- big post i've been wanting to get to.  okay. bdawg and i had already discussed what we felt like we should donate to this family.  we agreed upon the same amount, simultaneously, so that was kinda cool.  anyway, you guys helped us out.  big time.  i haven't put the pencil to paper very hardcore yet, BUT i can tell you with donations as well as purchases from our business, the total collected was somewhere in the ballpark of $1200.  Now, I have to take out business overhead, but that is still gonna be a greaaaaat greeaaaaaat contribution.  So way to go people.  We've been in the hospital, so checks haven't been cashed and some of you haven't paid for your orders because I haven't made them or billed you yet, so we aren't finished, but that's what we collected-- you guys rock! we are going to be able to send this family more than we'd anticipated bc of your help. thank you so much.

sawyer turned 4 this week. it was a big deal.  we were at the hospital and all, but it was still good. we got to come home that day.  and apparently, i don't have any pictures from that day as far as presents go.  BUT, he got a bike.  and some other stuff, but that was the big deal. he likes it a lot. yes, he has a helmet. i will be posting lots of bday pics over here.  well not LOTS. bc i didn't take lots. i know, i'm a loser.

projects....the latest projects: baby swaddlers and super awesome flower hair clips. i don't have a picture of the latter, bc i sold them all to the nurses while we were in the hospital! ha ha ha.  but once i make some more, i will post pics. they are the cutest $5 you will ever spend.  the baby swaddlers are also adorable. a friend of mine bought her own fabric and had me make her a couple. here's how cute they are (more pics at the photo blog):

 

$25  gets one of these, unless you buy the fabric, then i'll cut ya a deal.  I don't have either of these fabrics in stock, bc, as mentioned above, my pal picked her own fabrics. And if I do say so myself, they turned out quite cutesy!

crochet hair clippies...here's a gander. the only one i have is mine, and it's brown.  so here ya go. but i have LOTS of bright colored yarn, AND smaller clippies for smaller chickies!  i'm not mad in that first picture, regardless of how i look. :)  The clippies look WAY cute with a ponytail.

 

and finally. giveaways! i'm just throwing them all in together.  so here's how you enter to win.  comment here, and say which item you are wanting to win.  or just say you want to enter to win all of them.  if you just comment on the blog and don't mention the giveaway, i'm gonna assume you don't want any of the stuff, so go ahead and feel free to comment- i won't send you my junk unless you ask for it!  and soon i will have some new giveaways. NEW giveaways. soon.

first item up to be yours:

These old Clorox and Purex bottles may be worth something, or they may just be junk. I don't know. We got them in Eureka Springs when I thought one day I'd actually have a laundry room they'd look cute in.  But, alas, I've always had small laundry rooms not worthy of my decorating time.  So anyway, these glass detergent bottles and an old washboard are up for grabs.  The second picture is what the washboard says on it.  The washboard isn't big. Maybe 12" across.  If these are worth a lot of money, somebody stop me. I guess. They've been sitting. for seven years.   yeah. 

Next item:

3 burp rags.  These are NOT brand new.  In fact, they may have been sawyer's, i don't know.  They do not have any stains on them.  I wouldn't ever give these as a gift, but if you want them for your own kiddo, go for it.  Warning- the bandana one was formerly an OSU one, so a teeny line of pokes fabric peeks out.  So you sooner fans better steer clear.  If nobody wants these, they will become dust rags or trash for us.  Anyway, we're clean, people. So if you like em, they are yours. But they are used. 

NEW giveaways, soon.

Third item up for grabs (and 4th and 5th):

get your read on, peeps.  L to R: Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes.  This is a good read. I didn't want to get rid of it. BUT, I never read fiction books twice. Well, almost never. I might be convinced to read the Twilight books again or to read some of Francine Rivers novels or some other Christian fiction or even non-fiction twice. But that's about it. Anyway, clearly I paid 9.99 for that copy, and clearly Ridge chewed the upper right corner of it.  Want it? let me know.  Nexxxxt...Time Traveler's Wife.  Great read. But not easy to follow. So if you like fast, easy reads, this one isn't for you.  But I loved it.  If you haven't read it before or seen the movie, there are a couple of sexual "scenes" in this book-- I'm trying to disclose all information-- I don't want anyone freaking out on me if you win something, then find it offensive.  So you were warned.  And finally, another Picoult book that I personally didn't like at all (sorry, Jodi Picoult...although I know you most definitely aren't reading this).  BUT, I'm giving it away, so who cares if you like it or not? It was still worth the read, I was just disappointed in it when I was finished. It isn't worth reading twice, in my opinion. 

So there ya go.  comment and let me know what you want to win.  If you dont' care, but you just want to win something, let me know.  you can enter to win ANY OR ALL of this stuff.  Although, even though I will randomly pick the winners, i'm probably not going to pick the same person for two prizes, I'm just saying.  Or maybe I will. 

Man, I have an awful cough.  Best of luck to you all! Don't forget to head over here to see birthday pictures!

birthday boy.

Tomorrow, my first baby turns 4.  He's such a big boy now.  He will forever be my first baby, though, and he still has his moments where it is easy to remember this. 

Sawyer Miles. I love you.  Here's what's so special about you, blue-eyed baby.

You are super smart. You pick up on things quickly and repeat things after hearing them only once.  You don't always hear what I want you to hear, and sometimes you hear what I do NOT want you to hear, and that is part of what makes  you a man.  :)  You are super sweet.  You will say to me or daddy, or Ridge,  "I love you" of your own accord, without being prompted.  You will say to us, or Ridge, "you're the best ever." You give hugs and kisses and have a great laugh. 

At this point in time you also throw a lot of rebellious fits and cop an attitude.  But I'm chalking that up to the fact you're 3/4 and that you've had a decently ridiculous past year.  You've lived in the hospital even though you aren't the one who's "sick."  You've learned words like steroid, carafate, octreotide, and MLT.  You've eaten more junk in the past year than you probably ever will the rest of your life- if I have anything to do with it.  And you take most of these things in stride.  You make my day at least once every day.  You love to be a helper and you have such a curious spirit.  You ask questions like, "will there be a potty in heaven?" and you recall your PaPa often, remembering heaven is where he is, and you are old enough to be sad about his death.  You say the sweetest prayers for baby Ridge, like, "Dear God, please take Ridge's MLT away forever and don't let it ever EVER come back so we never have to go to the hospital ever again. Amen." You are repeating "Let your words be few" every day bc I say that so much to you-- you inherited my blabbermouth.  You sing songs and dance a lot, and like to have tons of fun.  You think "vendin' machines" are super cool.  You think the nurses on the 8th floor only exist to entertain you and play with you.  You know how to germ-x your hands better than any 3/4 year old out there.  You know your way around the hospital better than some adults.  You are timidly brave.  You like to do things on your own but if I'm too far away, you don't like that.  You LOOOOOVE Toy Story and Ninja Turtles.  You can dress yourself. 

You are precious to us.  You are precious to God.  And I am so sorry your life has been rocked upside down this year.  But I know that you will only have fond memories of your time at the hospital.  One day, this will all be behind us and we will go camping and fishing and vacationing again like a normal family of four.  One day you will know what it's like to really play with your brother, even moreso than now.  One day you will not be afraid to go swimming and your brother will actually be ABLE to get in the water, and we will have fun at someone's pool, or at the lake, actually IN the water.  That day isn't today, and that day won't be tomorrow, but that day is one day closer with each passing day.  You have been such a trooper through it all and I love you more every day, big boy.  You are one of the greatest gifts I will ever receive.  Happy Happy Birthday, Spits.

ONE....

TWO....

 

THREE....

FOUR!

reveal

i will get totals to you when i know them.... but here is who some of you wonderful blog readers have decided to come alongside and help out.  i know some of you already figured this out, and it wasn't a secret for anyone's sake really except i didn't want the family to know until the entire fundraising was over.  but those of you who aren't from oklahoma or don't read the daily oklahoman even if you are from here...here's their story.  we are so happy to help the middletons from cordell, ok.  take the time to read their story. but have kleenexes handy, and if you aren't already praying for them, start now!
http://newsok.com/three-cordell-brothers-hope-for-miracle-after-being-diagnosed-with-deadly-disease/article/3463167

updates

Updates...

First off, update on the family we are wanting to help.  It isn't June 1st yet, so you still have time to either purchase something (in which case, all profits go towards this so far anonymous family) or send a donation. In either case, you can email me if you need to contact me.  After June 1st, I will let you know how the response was (several of you have placed orders/sent donations....I really don't know how many people read the blog, and some orders have come in that are in no way related to this story, but the profits from those orders are going to help this anonymous- so far- family as well....anyway, I say several, but I suppose that's relative to how many people read the blog.  I'd say 10% of you have responded, but i may be setting the bar too high bc maybe not as many people read my blog as I think! ha)...ANYWAY, please take the time to respond with some sort of help. I know finances are tight-- of course we know and understand that-- you are reading a post by a woman who quit her job to stay home with a baby who incurs WAY more medical bills than the check she forfeited to stay home with him.  But our community, our friends, and even total strangers, have rallied around us and helped us in so many ways.  One of those ways has been financially, and with every penny that comes in (yes, pennies and other coins-- thanks to elementary schools in the community, as well as a coin war at my mom's school (props to you WHS!)), we are reminded of God's faithfulness, and of the goodness humanity still has.  So would you consider being one of those "strangers"-- a good samaritan of sorts-- to this other family in need?  Really, even $1, or $5, or whatever, will make a  difference, I PROMISE!  Here's a little more about the family, but I know even this will give some of it away, bc the world is too small for one of you to not know who I'm talking about when I give hints like this.  This is an Oklahoma family.  Tragedy came upon them really pretty suddenly with one of their children.  The tragedy then became three-fold when they found out this same tragedy actually affects EACH of their children.  I know some of you already know who I'm talking about, and I will go into more detail later, but please know I don't know the family at all so my details are limited.  The prognosis is not good, and the only medical hope they have lies in another state, and would be semi-long term as far as uprooting goes.  I'm about to spill all the beans so I will stop-- but I promise, this is a great, huge, desperate need, in my opinion.  It seems an impossible feat, or it would to me, if I were sitting in their shoes-- impossible apart from God.  But we are His hands and feet, so how can you help to meet this family's need?  Whatever you can do, however small, BDawg and I are asking you to do it.  I believe we are blessed when we sacrifice, but even if it isn't a sacrifice, and it's just something you are fortunate enough to be able to do, please do it!  I don't ask a lot from my blog readers, normally I just try to keep you informed, hopefully make you laugh, and hook you up with some prizes when I have some (which I do, I have three sitting in my garage right now...), but right now, I am asking you to please consider giving, no matter how "small" you think your gift is. 

Next update: OUR family.  Ridge is doing so well at home this time.  Four more days and we will be totally off the steroids (pray pray pray!!!  Those four days will be scary and the ones after those, just watching to see if he bleeds, will be even scarier!).  We had an upset yesterday when mobile Ridge got his central line pulled/stretched an unrealistic amount.  I literally was about to hyperventilate-- breathing super fast and loud and totally freaked out in panic mode.  BDawg rushed Ridge to the ER, where they xrayed and said it was still internally in place...the nurses/doctors/surgeon (i think) looked at the external part of the line and said it didn't look damaged, so they redressed it and sent him home. THANK YOU JESUS. I totally thought we'd be hanging out for ANOTHER holiday weekend in the hospital, awaiting a surgery date for a new central line. But thank the good Lord, no, we will not be sitting in the hospital this weekend.  We did have a good friend take some pictures of our family in our backyard.  I've mentioned it before, we are so blessed to have such talented friends!  We have several photographer friends, all of whom are very good at what they do.  So thanks to all of our friends!  I will let you sneak a peek at some of those pictures after I see them myself!

Sawyer is doing well, as well.  He's a mess-- all day long the other day,and often since then, he has called me Spits.  Yep. He'll say, "what are you doin, Spits?" and so on...it becomes ridiculous- but it is sure funny! He also told me in the car, when i asked him to repeat himself (I said, "what did you say?" because i didn't understand something he said) and he replied, "nothing. nothing that concerns yoooouuuu."  yeah.  smarty pants.  Smarty pants is getting new bedding for his bed- I ordered it this past week.  Not for the twin bed in his room currently, but for the full size bed in our garage-- he's moving up to an even bigger bed!

BDawg might be getting Lasik this week. He's blind as a bat and his glasses broke and his backups are missing a nosepiece, so his newest broken ones are working-- with superglue. ha ha ha.  I LOVE glasses-- on anyone.  I understand they are annoying to those who have to wear them, but I find them aesthetically pleasing.  But since i've known Bdawg, his momma has offered to help out with that procedure, and we've always declined, but it seems a good idea now, given our situation with Ridge and the fact BDawg goes to the eye doctor almost 3 hours away bc of some history with one of his eyes.  And 3 hours away just isn't gonna work with Ridge's condition.  So here we go!  Pray for all of that bc this week might just end with me having a husband who can SEE...but is less aesthetically pleasing to my eyes. ha ha, no i'm totally kidding- i just don't recognize him without glasses.  I mean, i KNOW who he is, but he just doesn't look like himself to me.  I will learn. 

As for me,I'm the same.  Working on my jewelry, crochet, sewing....yep.  Cooking breakfast more, super glad it's summer break for the hubs, and praying we stay out of the hospital as much as possible this summer.  Let's kick this MLT in the B-U-T (t)....i know, two t's, but one sounded better. 

Be a blessing today!
Alisha

get involved! you can do it!!! come on!!!

A few more days to get involved.  If you'd like to see some of my newest merchandise, head over to crazydayphoto.blogspot.com

short post--

after living through and continuing on in the circumstance we've been dealt with Ridge, we have definitely experienced grace and generosity.  and we have said we will never be the same because of it.  when a need arises, we figured we'd be ready to meet that need in whatever way we were capable of, bc it has meant so much and will continue to mean so much that you have met our needs and continue to do so.  i don't want to share too much bc this blog does get some traffic and i want to leave a little bit of a surprise element to this, but i do want my readers to know there is a family, who we do not know, but who is in desperate need of finances and a miracle.  i will share what i know about them in a week or so.  but here is what we are going to do. bdawg and i both feel deeply that we need to help.  because i have quit my job and because we rely on the help and support of our friends, family, community, and perfect strangers, we don't have a lot of resources to financially help this family we are burdened for.  so here's what we have pledged to do.  i hope and pray God blows our minds with the response.  we ARE going to do something for this family. i DO want it to be a surprise, so i am asking for some faith from you readers that this is something GREAT.  your heart will break at this story and you will be challenged by this family's faith.  so here's the deal-- everything i sell between 5/23 (today) and 6/1 (a week away, or a little over a week)-- all proceeds, every bit of profit, will go to this family.  so if you are wanting some jewelry, baby items, customized signs, whatever, check out my facebook page, "Seesaw ridge productions", send me a message and let me know what you want.  i'm talking custom orders, so you will have to wait awhile to receive whatever you buy.  but i will invoice you, let you pay, get the profits totaled, reveal the story of this family, then get to work on getting your items shipped to you.  if you would rather just donate, that's fine too.  i'll send ya a free pair of earrings if that's the route you choose to take.  email me if you don't have a facebook account-- seesawridgeproductions@yahoo.com  
if you send me an email, i can get you our mailing address so you can send in your payment or donation.  i can also invoice you via paypal if you prefer to donate/pay that way.

i promise, this story will break your heart, and you definitely want to be a part of this. i can speak from personal experience-- if you can donate $5 or $10 or $500 or whatever, EVERY penny counts.  here's how i think about it-- if someone gives $5 to us, that pays for one day's worth of Ridge's prevacid, which he takes EVERY single day.  Every little bit REALLY does count, so please know, there is no amount too small.

So here ya go, folks.  a week, or 8 days, to get your GIVE on.  let's see what we've got!    be a blessing.

alisha

not quite a hippie...but different.

Well, finally, on Thursday, we had  a great day.  Wednesday was looking up, Ridge made it a little over 24 hours without getting blood.  But that night, he had to get a transfusion.  Thursday, he stayed at his post transfusion hemoglobin level of around 13.4 all day long.  This morning, and this afternoon, he was still around that-- 13.2, actually.  

So we begin tapering the steroid dose tomorrow. The last phase of the taper will be oral steroids, and those are easy to go home on. So word on the street is we'll be home Sunday or Monday, if nothing weird happens.

Thank the Lord!  We are ready to be home.  I'm getting used to being at the hospital, and that's just not normal!

Ridge has been having some heart rate issues- he's been running too low.  I've watched him as he's napping this time and things have been much more normal. Weird.  Thankful for that!  He had an EKG this morning, no results yet. Consensus is, until we see EKG results, that it is either related to some sort of interaction of the meds he's on or it could be a positional issue with his central line.  Interesting to note, we de-accessed the port today, so maybe it had something to do with that. I just thought of that. Weird.  As a matter of fact, that is very strange coincidence.....hmmmm....We are going to reaccess it in a bit, so we'll see what happens then.  If it is an issue with his central line, we may have to do nothing, or we may have to pull it out a bit, or we may have to get it replaced. I'm trying to find images of a Broviac Catheter, which is what Ridge's central line is, but I don't want to post pictures of someone else's kid so you can google it yourself if you want.  Anyway, it wouldn't be a small feat to repare/replace this.  He had it replaced once before, but the surgeons took out the one he had, put a new one in the other side of his chest...this time, we don't HAVE another side of his chest to work with, bc the port is there. So we'd take this one out and put a new one in the same place. But I'm wasting time typing about it, because THAT is not happening, bc we are sure things are fine.  So pray that we are right about that :)

I have been sporadically typing this, and my brain is kind of elsewhere now.  But Ridge is much better.  That's the jist of it all.  He is starving bc of all the steroids he is on, and he is eating very well. He is moving on up past the baby food and to the table food, and we are figuring out what kind of milk he's gonna get...I'm still feeding him some, but he isn't very nice about it and he has six teeth and he's not as appreciative and friendly as one should be to their source of nutrition.  So I'm still giving him bottles of breastmilk but we are figuring something else out to give alongside it.  He has had some problems with pediasure, I am pretty sure bc it contains dairy.  So our other options have been: try whole milk, try toddler formula, then try toddler soy formula.  Well, trying dairy is tough because it upsets his stomach and no one gets any sleep at night.  So whole milk and toddler formula are not what we really want to try.  Soy formula is definitely an option, but formula is kind of expensive and Sawyer never had any and I would rather not give Ridge any if I don't have to (not knocking ya if you use it, do whatever you want-- this is just my preference).  SO....since he is old enough to drink things other than formula or breastmilk, we've made a decision.  A decision that is a bit unconventional and a decision that really wasn't given as an option in our dr. consults.  But it won't hurt him, so we're doing it anyway.  I have a friend, a couple years younger than me, who reads this blog, and who is a nurse pracitioner....and who is quite the momma.  You can read about her cutie pies here.  Anyway, after reading her blog all this time we've been in the hospital, I was exposed to the idea of....goat milk.  I know, it's not THAT far fetched, but some of you are probably gagging.  I just feel better about giving my kid an actual mammal's milk than something synthetic, if we can.  Goat milk is comparable in some ways to breastmilk, and it is easier to digest than cow's milk, and while I didn't taste it, BDawg did, and he said it just tastes kind of like milk.  Ridge didn't need any transition- I didn't have to mix part goat milk part breastmilk or anything...he just took it and loved it.  And slept better that night.  So we're rolling with it.  He's had no stomach aches so far from it, and we did buy the kind fortified with folic acid, bc goat milk IS lacking in that department.  It's not so weird that you can't buy it at Wal-Mart.  So while it is maybe a tad unconventional, I feel much better giving that to my one year old than giving him toddler formula.  Maybe that's just me, but that's how I feel, and I like being able to make those decisions.  If he doesn't grow soon, maybe we will revisit the idea of a more "complete nutrition" like pediasure...but I don't think it's gonna be an issue.  He loves to eat. He's gonna grow.  And the boy likes goat milk.  It's not as cheap as cow milk, but not too pricey, IMO, considering we buy organic cow milk anyway.  I figure it will cost us about $1-$2 per day.  But I might be wrong.  We will see!

So there's something for you to think about. :)

Thanks so much for all the prayers. No doubt we've needed them, and no doubt we've felt them.  I know they have been in abundance, and we ask you to pray as we begin tapering the steroids that Ridge would respond well and not become dependent upon them.  We are ready for this bleed to be totally behind us, and to have some good breaks between this one and the next one-- how about...like...a PERMANENT break from bleeds...that's what we want.  No more vaccinations for this baby, that's for sure!  With every day, I feel a little bit more like a hippie, or something earthy....breastfeeding him still, giving him goat milk, no vaccines, homeschooling Sawyer (possibly/probably/we don't know), yeah yeah yeah.  And it feels good.

what will the lucky number be....

I don't really have a lot of wisdom or insight or really anything deep to share with you.  We are pretty much just drained and tired of all of this, but I wanted to update you.

Ridge came into the hospital two weeks ago this Wednesday-- May 5th.  He was low on hgb, running about 7.7, so we got two transfusions, things looked good, we went home Thursday night, May 6th.  Friday, May 7th, he was kind of on "observation" bc we just weren't sure things were okay.  He had a great day but my insides just weren't settled about it yet, so I wasn't really surprised when later that night, he had a dark stool, we checked his hgb, and it had dropped about a gram and a half.  So we brought him in, and by the time the ER finally did his CBC, his hgb was 8.0.  Which meant he'd dropped 3 grams in about 12 hours.  It was another 3 hours before he got his blood-- I think delays like that are ridiculous.  He was obviously lower-- he was getting very pale, gaggy, and having super low desaturations on his oxygen levels.  He needed the blood when we got there, way before 2:30 AM.  So Friday night, May 7th, began a loooong road, that we are still walking.  Ridge got three transfusions from 2:30 AM Saturday through that day.  He got 3 more on Sunday.  Those were all 10ccs/kilo, or 80 ccs of blood.  Which meant in two days, he got approx. two to three adult sized transfusions, if my research is correct.  On Monday, he got one 80 cc transfusion, one 120 cc transfusion, and one 160 cc transfusion, which meant in that day alone he got almost 2 adult sized transfusions.  Until MOnday, his diapers had been mostly black.  Monday, his diapers became more maroon. Tuesday, he got 2 160 cc transfusions, Wednesday I think he only got one 160 cc transfusion, Thursday maybe he got 2, Friday it all broke loose and he had 8 or 9 red diapers-  he was pooping every single time he was awake. You haven't smelled stinky until you have smelled straight blood in a diaper.  I won't complain about poop smell ever again, or I will sure try not to-- because this stench is enough to gag you multiple times over and permeate the entire room.  It isn't pleasant to look at, and cleaning your child's dirty bottom is never fun, but it is so difficult to do so without crumbling when all you are cleaning is blood after blood after blood....and none of it is even his blood.  He has cycled through all of the blood we've given him, more than once.   I don't remember how many transfusions he had since last Thursday, but I believe the total from May 5th to today is 23.  23!  We are talking about probably over 2500 ccs of blood.  I am so weary of this.  Last Tuesday, we also tried taking him off food/feeding and upping his octreotide.  This is a standard treatment for GI bleeds, I think not only in MLT kids, but in older people too.  Octreotide limits blood flow to the gut, so to cut off the blood flow to the gut and then feed it, which increases blood flow to the gut, you can do some damage/"kill" the gut/intestines, and if those organs die, there's really nothing you can do to fix it. So anyway, Ridge didn't eat from Tuesday to Sunday.  We didn't see huge differences in doing that, which was disappointing, not only bc he couldn't eat, but bc it was supposed to work.  It usually works to stop bleeds.  So we had to decide what to do.  Because things were so bad-- worse than ever before, other than the fact he wasn't vomitting, we decided to put him back on steroids.  This is supposed to be a short term, 1 week mega dose.  We are hoping and praying that it stops the bleed and that we are then able to back off of it.  Please pray that with us.  I do not want my son on steroids long term. I hate them.  I don't want to make a decision today that will preserve his life now, but make it less normal later.  But that is what we are having to decide, it seems.  And any parent would do whatever it takes to save their child's life. So that's what we will do...but it is so hard to accept.  Steroids have awful side effects-- not only the horrible swelling that we saw in Ridge when he was last on steroids, but they also cause his bones to be less dense, allowing for more fractures, and the possibility of less mobility.  They can cause glaucoma.  They can cause heart issues.  They give him crazy high blood pressures.  They severely lessen his immune system.  We've learned this time around that we can no longer give him vaccines- even deactivated ones, bc that is what started this bleed.  Which means, anyone, family or friend, who is not vaccinated against things like flu/swine flu/childhood illnesses, will not be allowed to be around Ridge, bc he will not have protection against those things-- and that's regardless of if he's on steroids or not-- we can't risk getting him immunized bc I don't want to ever watch him bleed like this ever again.

So pray. Pray the bleeding would stop. Pray this pulse dose of steroids would be effective and we wouldn't be stuck on them.  Pray we wouldn't have to look at another drug to introduce to his body because I can't do it- the drug options that remain are not really possibilities in my opinion. I don't want them in my son's body.  I don't want to have to have surgery to remove a part of his stomach, intestines, colon, or wherever this bleed is coming from.  I don't want to make a decision today/in this time that seems correct, but fixes nothing, and in the end, I have to look at my son at age 10 or 16 or whatever and apologize for whatever side effects he has because I made the wrong decision when he was one and had a disease that he doesn't even suffer from anymore at that later age.  Just pray that this would end.  That God would heal him.  That the bleeding would stop. That we'd have wisdom.

I just don't even want to type about it anymore.  It is so frightening, frustrating, discouraging, disgusting, ugly, miserable, ridiculous, and for whatever reason...it is ours.  So here we go, down another fork in this road.   Please pray for us.  Pray for Ridge.  Pray that God would show his power to save, his power to heal, and that he would rescue our baby today, in this very moment.

the hospital makes me fat

i am addicted to zingers. all you people who love us, do NOT send me boxes of these-- not to be nice, or a friend, or to play a sick joke. i can NOT stop eating them....the vending machine has 3 flavors, and i don't care which ones are available, i love them.  disgusting.  we eat like trash up here, and sometimes, i like it.  i like it when people bring us good food too- so thanks if you've done that, ever before.  we aren't being forced to eat zingers and cornnuts, i'm just choosing to do that.  i sicken myself.

ridgers understands food now.  he is NPO, meaning no food/drink, and has been for the past 27 hours.  his octreotide has been increased to stop his bleeding, but the bleed continues.  his platelets are ridiculously low. he does seem to be responding better to his transfusions, so that is good news.  we have not been in a place this dark with the disease in about 8 or 9 months.  the boys are supposed to celebrate their birthdays in style on saturday. i guess we'll party it up here at the hospital.  if you were invited (sorry if you weren't.  i guess now you are), i guess don't show up at my house.  someone will be there, but it won't be the party crowd.  so head our way.  so he understands food- as in, when i was eating my hospital food, he watched me take every bite until i had to just stop bc it was too hard to eat in front of him since he can't have even a nibble.  oh my heart.

got some cool news about a study in an MLT girlie-- have requested the study be done in Ridge.  will keep you posted on if we find anything of any value that will help us to control his bleeding better.  i am excited to at least try this.  i am wary of new meds, and this would be one way to curb that suggestion for a while.  i'm ready to be done with this ridiculousness and get a normal life back.

this has been a hard week. taxing on emotions and on spirits and on relationships and some things that have been bad/stupid/ugly/ridiculous haven't even had to do with ridge's disease, or even really ridge.  no details are really available/i shouldn't post about this really....but suffice it to say when people are vicious or snooty or tattly or whatever towards people we love, it gets on my nerves.

ridge is waking. gotta go.

thanks for the prayers.  i see a zinger on the bed-- maybe i will eat it. i can't say no.

i haven't pulled an all nighter in a long time. it was funner in college.

yes, i said funner.  i know, more fun is more correct.  or correct, period.  i'm just saying....

so here's the low down to get you up to speed--
Tuesday, Ridge had his 1 yr dr appt.  In size, he is off the charts...small.  He weighs about 16 lbs, and is 26 inches long.  perspective check: he is 1 yr old, and can wear 6-9 mo. clothes.  Am I freaked out? no, bc i can't make him 25 lbs overnight. i'm just giving you the report.  according to checklist information, he is behind in the facts that he can't walk, doesn't point, doesn't drink from a sippy, can't speak (except for mama), and probably some other stuff.  i'm extra not concerned about that, since he's like 5 months delayed on opportunity for those things anyway, since he spent 5 formative months in a hospital bed.  but now you know.

Tuesday, he got one immunization. I'm not necessarily pro or anti vaccines.  Ridge can't get live vaccines because of his steroid therapy.  So we got one shot.  He's supposed to get his final HepA at 15 mos of age.  IDK if that will happen, bc.....Wednesday, we found ourselves in the hospital with a hemoglobin of 7.7.  He was given blood once on Wed. and once on Thurs. and Thurs. night, we went home.  Record short stay for us.  Friday morning, his hgb was still 11, which is what it was when we left the hospital.  Friday night, a diaper caused concern, we checked hgb, it was 9.6.  To the ER we went.  at 11:30 pm, hgb was already 8.0. He didn't receive his blood until 2:30 AM, and I am certain he was close to 6.0 then, bc he was getting gaggy/vomitty, which happens when he is low.  So we were up till about 2:30 AM Friday night/Sat morning, then he started getting blood and the four of us went to sleep at the hospital (don't worry about sawyer being up at the hospital, awake that late.  he was partying it up with some leftover baby shower food that one of our favorite nurses got him.  he was happy as can be to be eating cookies at 2 AM).  I had to get up at 4:30 the next morning bc I was participating in a craft show that day in Noble.  So I pretty much got zero sleep, which hasn't happened in forever.  I wake up 1823487910 times every night to feed the baby or to his monitor going off, but I sleep off and on from about midnight to 9 AM, so i'm good.  but an all nighter like that was bru-tal. Anyway, Ridge got the blood that night. He got blood again Saturday morning around 10 AM, he got blood again yesterday evening around 7 PM, he's getting blood now at 10:45 AM on Sunday.  The bleeding isn't over.  This is by far the worst he's been in months and months.  No vomit yet, but he's wanted to at least once, and he did gag up a little bit of banana that he was eating, and up with the banana came red blood.  I can't stand it when it comes up.  It's gross enough and disturbing enough and wrong enough when it comes OUT, but when it comes UP, I just can't deal with it.  I CAN, and I DO, but I hate that.

So why the bleed?  If you haven't gathered yet, this disease is rare. It is random. And we don't know for sure why he ever starts to bleed. He HAS been immunized before, but dynamics were different/med doses were different, so I tend to think this immunization was the culprit (It wasn't a live vaccine, we know he can't have those)....but I could be way wrong.  So anyway, he is on transfusion number 6 since Wednesday.

Lord, I am ready for the day that we don't spend so much time in the hospital.  But I am thankful that we don't have to live in the hospital anymore.  No matter where we are, my prayer is for Ridge to no longer have these bleeding issues.

The other night, I got to share Ridge's story/God's story with a group of ladies (freaked out much? 350+ of them! I was NER-VOUS!).  The following evening, my friend Kelly, whom I have never met in real life, but right along with my friend Andrea, whom I have also never met in real life, I consider a lifesaver and someone who is an instant friend and who one day I hope to meet in real life, when our kiddos are stable enough to travel without us (me?) fearing-- ANYWAY, run on sentence....restart: My friend Kelly and her husband shared their daughter's story (of living with MLT) with their church youth group.  One thing she told me, later, on FB, was this :  It is hard to recap it all. I feel like I barely survived it the first time. YOu know what I mean? Man I do not want to go back to where we have been. 


A to the men!  I don't know how we made it through the first year with Ridge, but we all survived.  Right now, times are bleak.  But she is so right- I do NOT want to go back to where we have been.  Thank you, Lord, for bringing us this far.  Carry us some more, bc today is a dark day for us. 


Have a happy Mother's Day (I know, kind of bleak way to wish you happy mother's day, but I truly mean it....moms have the hardest jobs ever.)

winner!!!

while it is sooooo true that we love her, this contest, i promise, was soooooo not rigged- sawyer picked this name out of a clump of wadded up papers with names on them.....

the cute scrapbook goes to momma of 3, one of our favorite people....


VANESSA!

congrats, friend.  let me know if you want me to mail it, and where, or if you want me to bring it next time i see you.  whatever is fiiine by me.  fb or text me your address if i'm mailing it, though.


lots of you played that time-- thanks! i have one more prize ready but i will keep finding more! :)

miss montana's in the mail...so i guess i should give something else away?

Okay, let me preface this giveaway with the honest truth....not that there is really any other kind of truth....
i really secretly like/want to keep what i'm giving away.  yukon is the greatest-- at the beginning of each school year, they host something called The Breakfast.  Organizations/businesses around town sponsor a table/tables and serve the teachers breakfast and usually also hook us up with some sweet prizes/goodies!  This past year, I didn't get to go bc I was with Ridge in the hospital, but the year before, my friends and I sat at the CNW West table, which is where Sawyer used to go to daycare, and we won something super great if you are a mom.  That's why I don't want to get rid of it.  But I'm not going to lie-- I have/had every intention of using it, then we got a Mac, I've been digital photo booking everything, plus with Ridge in the hospital so often and my sewing/crafting other things, I just haven't gotten a chance.  So please know, it is very bittersweet to be passing this along to you!  I think CNW would agree it would be better that someone be actually getting to use it than it just sitting on my shelf going unused, me looking at it every day thinking, I SO need to work on that!  BUT alas, let me just say Bdawg and I have been married almost seven years....and I haven't even finished one of these from our wedding/honeymoon yet.  So you gotta know, I don't think I will ever get around to it, no matter how much I want to and no matter the fact I think it's just about one of the cutest things ever.  So, friends at CNW who read this-- please know, I LOVE LOVE LOVE this prize.  LOVE it.  That's why I know someone else will too, so I gotta pass it on, share the love, pay it forward, whatever you want to call it.  This is so not a trash to treasure giveaway (hannah montana)....this is a treasure to treasure giveaway, IMO. 

Here's what you're playing for:

In this box, which is cute enough to play for, in my opinion, is a scrapbook, a couple of sets of stickers/decals (idk scrapbook lingo, never learned it), some ribbon, flower petally things, stamps, ink pad, fringe-y stuff, cardboard letters, little pushpin/brad things....idk what all, but it's ALL cute.  and it's pretty big....the way it's packaged right now, probably about 24" high and 18" across, but I'm not gonna lie, it will probably be taken out of the packaging, put in the adorable box, and in a bigger box, when I mail it.  So if you're wanting it all cutesy packaged like it is in this picture, you might want to reconsider entering!  Anyway, the colors are a sage to lime green and a corally reddish pink.  other than the flowers, I think you could use it for a boy or a girl, but that's my opinion.


To enter, all you gotta do is leave a comment.  If you can't comment on the blog for some reason, which I still can't figure out, bc multiple times I've tried to comment as anonymous, and it works every time....so I don't know what the deal is, BUT if you can't comment, you can always gain an entry by emailing me.  I guess since not everyone can comment, I will only allow one entry per person, either by email or by comment.  The winner will be selected whenever we have time to select them, and it will be by random selection via my 3 year old.  Happy winning- bc I think this is a good prize! GREAT prize!

xoxoxoxo (esp to you gals over at CNW!)

breathless scumbag

I don't have a good title today. I don't have a lot of time today. Dinner's in the oven, I have a double date with two trig students in about 45  minutes to crank out some mega trig before their next test, and I have a pile of baby shoes- pile is an understatement!- on the table begging me to sew them.  Little ones, you will have to wait, bc I need to make some serious jewelry for the jewelry party this weekend and the craft show next weekend.  May is CUH-RAZY for me.  I think we have something every single weekend.  Busy busy.  But it's good to be home.  We spent a brief amt of time over Ridge's bday in the hospital.  We had fun, and I have several pictures to post. But not now.

Here's where I'm at right now: the same place I find myself pretty much all the time through this new life of ours...breathless. Somedays in a good way, lots of days in a notsogood way.  I  am out of breath from running all over tarnation- or at least from hospital to home to hospital...I am breathless from fear of "will this get ridge sick?" I am breathless from wondering, "do we get him his one year vaccinations or not? will that set him off? when can we try to come off the octreotide and get that stupid central line out of his chest? what if it doesn't work? will our life ever be normal? why why why?" breathless.

i am breathless when I stop and think of provisions made for us throughout this whole ordeal. breathless at the opportunities presenting themselves to us every day.  in love with how God is allowing me to make some fraction of my paycheck back through my business, which will soon be official when i fill out the tax forms.  i have always wanted to earn a living, or earn a something, from a talent i have-- i'm a crafty one of sorts....and i like being able to make fun cute things and let people buy them.  i am breathless at the opportunity given to me this past week by a local boutique being willing to sell my things there-- (thanks! xoxo!) i am breathless at my friend andrea, whose little boy also has MLT, and her words of encouragement, promising things WILL get better and we WILL be able to live a normal life one day.  i can NEVER hear her say that enough. never ever.  i am breathless at how much those stinkin nurses and techs love ridge...and even silly sawyer!  i am breathless at some of the friendships i  now have simply bc my child lived on the 8th floor of the hospital for so long the girls there are not only my son's caretaker, they are,well, my friends.  i can't type about that any more, bc i will overflow with tears. but 8th floor ladies, you gotta know there's lotsa love in this momma's heart for you. 

i am so unworthy. i am bottom of the barrel scum most days, but God is continuing to take care of us.  and when i am having trouble remembering that, He reminds me.

yeah....so that is all.

goodnight, fellow scumbags...or fellow non-scumbags.  love to you all!

hannah montana drama

Well, a couple of you almost convinced me to keep the movie. But, alas, we aren't keeping it.  To say thanks to all of you who daily read the blog, we're giving back...you know, "one man's trash, another man's treasure" type stuff.  And the winner, picked randomly out of a hat, proverbially speaking, by Sawyer, is....

Courtney Horne.

Courtney, remind me your mailing address and I will get that out to you as soon as I can! email me @ seesawridgeproductions@yahoo.com or you can just facebok it to me.


CONGRATS!:) don't worry. i have at least 2 more prizes.  More on that soon.

Dear sweet baby Ridge....

One year ago, you entered this world.

For nine months, I carried you...felt you kick and flip and hiccup.

I let you grow as big as you wanted (8 lbs 12 oz...)

I loved you before I ever saw you.

And when the doctor handed you to me, my first words, "hi, ridge!" were spoken through tears, and quickly, "he looks EXACTLY like sawyer!" followed.

You entered the world on your granddaddy's birthday, a special day indeed.  He would've loved you to bits.

You entered the world quickly, but not without being noticed-- through every bit of strength that epidural could muster, I still felt those contractions.  After they finally gave me the strongest whatever they could give me, the pain stopped, you arrived, and I threw up in front of your Aunt Binet'.  

You were born with lots and lots of black hair, and though your eyes were blue at birth, they soon turned brown...I'd always wanted a brown eyed baby.

Your daddy and your brother loved you from the start.  Sawyer wanted to name you Hollywood, and was disappointed, at first, that your name was not, in fact, actually Hollywood.  But he adjusted and he loves you dearly and is a great helper and playmate for you.  Your daddy is a tremendous baby holder, and you always sleep best on his chest.  You've looked just like him from the get-go.

  Here you are, one year ago (tomorrow)....one of the greatest, happiest days of my life.

From that day forward, we have loved you.  Not without trial.  Not without frustration.  Not without pain and tears.  But we have loved.  We will continue to love.  Every minute of every day with you is a blessing, and though your incredible spoiled nature (thanks to your parents and all the nurses who love you dearly, as well as the rest of your family members) makes it nearly impossible to ever get anything done without holding you, you are a miracle among us.  Not until six weeks into your life did we even have any inkling that anything was amiss in your little body.  And oh, how most every moment since then has been bittersweet.  Hospitalizations are always a pain, because we want you home, not in the hospital.  But at the hospital, some of the people who have come to love you and come to defend you, jump at the chance to take care of you.  Being home is always such a blessing with a small lining of fear...how long this time? Will you be bleeding tomorrow?  Will you get sick if I take you here/there/wherever?  

And please know, sweet baby Ridgey, that you are loved by everyone around you- family, friends, nurses, community....

And you have a mama who couldn't be happier that your first, and only word, is.... "mama".

Oh, Ridge....never could we stop loving you.  I carried you in my belly for nine months. I will carry you in my heart for all my lifetime.  And one year ago, on your BIRTHday, you were covered in love at the hospital. This year, on your first birthday, you will be covered in love at the hospital.  And it, too, while bittersweet, will be one of the greatest, happiest days of my life.  Your momma loves you....with all her heart, and, as Sawyer says, with all the corn.

Here you are, about one year from your birth.  My sweet baby. 

Happy first.

i've got a present....for you! or you? or you?

Now, I'm going to admit I didn't do an A+ job of it, but Monday, I cleaned out the garage.  I did throw quite a bit away, but anything on shelves or in boxes pretty much got to stay where it was.  HOWEVER.....some things were salvaged.  Not for me, but for some of you.  Seeing as to how this is the week of Ridge's numero uno birthday, and we have toys coming out our ears, and gifts galore....I don't need some of this stuff.  So the first item up for grabs is sure a funny one.  So here's some background:

We've been in the hospital a LOT since July.
Most of that time , I was the parent with Ridge, bc BDawg had to be at work.
When neither of you are really at home, things get overlooked.
Which is why I even have this prize to begin with.
We USEDto be members of something called....The Disney Movie Club.  It was great.  Except for the fact that if you didn't want the movie of the month, you had to call and say you didn't want it. Or send in your form and check the box that said you didn't want it.  And if you neglected to do those things, you got the movie...AND paid for it.  No more of that malarkey.  We cancelled that right quick two years later when we'd forgotten to take care of that a few times.  Most of the movies we received through this little trap DMC had set for us our error are movies we will watch, do watch, have watched, whatever.  So they were like presents we didn't really need to buy but we bought them, like it or not, so we were happy.  However....I was not aware of our (probably) LAST accidental DMC purchase.  Until I cleaned out the garage.
It was with great splendor and excitement I reacted when I saw the corrugated cardboard box.  I knew there was a movie in it.  Both boys were home with me that day, so I was super excited to have found some leverage for the 3 year old.
The package was dated sometime in November.  What a treasure! Six months in the making!
But our loss is your gain.  Because God has given me two wonderful young boys.  They will get older. But unfortunatelythankfully, they will never turn into the tweenage little girls who would be interested, ecstatic, super happy happy happy to watch this:

It's all yours, people.  Leave a comment.  Or send me an email.

I will put all your names in a proverbial hat, Sawyer will draw one, and I will send you your prize.
Don't worry. It's new. In the box. Still shrinkwrapped.
Happy....whateverday to you!

(Contest open until I close it, and anyone can win, family is not excluded, although I'm most definitely certain none of my immediate family will be needing THIS).

i suppose it's time for an update

wow.  not a lot to say, but i know it's been FOREVER since we've posted anything too new or pertinent here.

so here's the newsy notes:

1. Ridge is home. We were in the hospital last thurs (4/8) through Monday (4/12) because he was having a bleed related to the cold/congestion/respiratory virus/whatever he had.  strange to think that a cold would make someone have GI bleeding, but this disease is a mystery.  It is of utmost importance we try to avoid Ridge getting sick.  Which is why at the sign of any illness any of us have been around, I became a total freak.  It is so hard to decide whether getting out for this or that is even worth it when something so minor can set Ridge off. I think he got two transfusions this time.  His hgb isn't super high, it's in the 9's, but we are home anyway, because all we'd be doing at the hospital is sitting and waiting.  So we're home.
 2.  Ridge is on the last four weeks of his steroid wean, providing nothing major happens in these four weeks (bleeds/illness/vomit/fever/etc.)  So hopefully, in four weeks, he'll be off the steroid, and be able to function a little better under stress/illness.  Who knows.  His steroid, currently, is in tablet form.  We mix it in with some baby food. He's not dummy.  He knows it's in there. And steroids taste nasty.

3.  Ridge is small, still. Hopefully as he continues to come off the steroids, he will grow.  We try to feed him as much as he'll eat....He will have to take pediasure instead of whole milk at one year of age, in order to get some complete nutrition, plus several cals/ounce.  He hates the pediasure.  He just wants to be breastfed and eat baby food.  It's frustrating that he won't take it.  Pray that he will respond to it, or that we will be able to give him the whole milk with supplementation or that he would just start to grow!  He's a tiny thing.

4.  He's a tiny thing who will be ONE year old in SIX DAYS!  Unbelievable.  In some ways this year has flown by and in other ways I feel like I've aged ten years and that Ridge should be five by now or something. 

5.  Sawyer is a big boy.  He is no baby anymore. He's a great helper and mostly obedient.  He is good at going to bed most nights, and is super pumped that tonight is pallet night, and that Cox On Demand has all THREE of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies on Demand.  We've gone through two of them, tonight we'll be watching numero tres.  Uncle Garret would be so proud. :)  I am working with Sawyer at home, trying to teach him to write his name.  We worked with the letter S some this past week and he was a good and patient student. I don't know how he is for his super sweet teachers at school, but for me,while he can have an attitude at times, when we were "learning," he was soakin it up.

6.I've been busy.  I am about to post some photos over here:  crazydayphoto.blogspot.com
I am having a jewelry party at the home of a friend and would-be coworker if I were at school this year...that's in a couple of weeks. I've got a couple more lined up during the summer.  I am also going to a craft show in Noble May 8th.  So those things are exciting.  It's hard to find time to get everything done, but I love my work.   I've also been overly privileged to be asked to speak at Southern Hills Baptist Church May 4th. I don't have a lot ready, because our life changes so rapidly, I feel I will probably just have to let loose from the heart of the moment that night.  It's been a long time since I've shared in a large group, so I am excited and nervous.  I am excited to get to share this testimony of our lives....I am more excited for Ridge to one day be able to stand and share his faith and his testimony of how God took him through something so ridiculous as MLT....and I pray and hope every day that when Ridge stands before people, a miracle in front of my own eyes, that  he will not even have any recollection how scary this beast of a disease can be. 

7.  I have some stuff to type about b-dawg and more updates on myself as well, but it will have to wait for now.  Gonna upload some pics and get back to work before pallet night starts!

wordless wednesday

{more pics at the photoblog}